Taking Advantage of Other People

Leeches are people who sponge off of you and do not offer much in return. For instance, they request to borrow money but do not pay you the correct amount back in time. They may offer to help you with a project and demand recognition for their efforts, despite the fact that their help was not that great to begin with. You can tell when you are dealing with a leech by the way they interact with you and others; they’re needy, obnoxious, demanding and lose it when things don’t go their way. What you need to do is to remain cool, calm and collected and carry on. But if you find yourself taking advantage of other people, then you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror.

Even friends and family members often try to take advantage of you. I’m sure everyone knows a person who is nice to you, but always seems to request something from you that is just off. For instance, I have a childhood tennis friend who still keeps in touch with me. We’re on good terms but not the best of friends. He recently came on vacation to Manhattan and knew that I was leaving to Tampa and Pittsburgh for a week. He had the courage to ask me if he could sleep in my apartment for a few days while I was away. This is a friend who I talk to every 2-3 months; we barely keep in touch. The fact that he asked me that question just reinforced my take on his character; someone who wants to take advantage of a situation without considering if it’s an appropriate and respectable action to take.

Taking advantage of other people - hand holding puppet by strings

Taking Advantage of Other People is Pathetic

I think we all have the potential to take advantage of others; it’s called human nature. But you need to correct yourself when you feel like taking advantage of others. If you find yourself requesting something from someone with an uncomfortable feeling in your chest, take a step back and ask yourself why you’re doing it. If you find that the other person stands nothing to gain from your request, is your request even necessary? Classically, people with narcissistic, sociopathic and antisocial traits are notorious for taking advantage of others. They simply do not care about what happens to them, as long as they are gaining something and benefiting in the end.

Another reason people try to take advantage of others is because they don’t want to do the right thing in life. Many times, doing the right thing means putting in more work or taking the less comfortable route in life. Many people are weak-minded and don’t have the discipline or courage to do the right thing. Instead, they spot opportunities in others, regardless of whether they are harming them in some subtle way. When people take advantage of others, they are being manipulative. Manipulation is easy to spot for the trained eye. If you’re not one of those people, then I recommend you start educating yourself about common manipulative tactics, so you can protect yourself from those who take advantage.

Don’t be one of those people. Do the right thing.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

5 Replies to “Taking Advantage of Other People”

  1. How do people have such great insecurities to the point of making a fool out of themselves?”

    Most people have some insecurities of one kind or another, even you, I’m sure… but there are some, that due to either inherited genes, early learned behaviour, severe neglect, abuse, abandonment, trauma, etc… will have bigger and more pronounced insecurities.

    These insecurities would be further embedded into their psyche, (behavioural patterns and ways of thinking) and many do not even realise they are making a fool out of themselves. Some are not so self-aware.

    From their perspective, the world could seem very different. Perspective is very much the key.

    Many with personality disorders, such as myself, (BPD, cptsd, GAD, etc) see a world very much from a child’s perspective, at least emotionally speaking. That part of me due to neglect, trauma, and different types of abuse over many years, was stunted.

    I have not done the things you mentioned to start with, but I know at times I can seem very demanding, stubborn, and I hate to even admit it…yes childish. I can be selfish, insecure, needy, and even cruel. I am very all or nothing. Love/hate etc.

    However, is that the real me? No, it’s the illness within me. People who can separate the illness from the person (even though that may at times be difficult) will do better at dealing with such ones like myself.

    Behind anger and many types of maladaptive type behaviours there is usually a lot of pain and/or shame.

    Even “normal” people who are not disordered are not always in a wise and mature state of mind. So how much more likely will it be that the disordered will be?

    So just because everyone looks like an adult on the outside, as you no doubt are well aware, there are many that are not emotionally/mentally or psychologically developed. This often causes them to make a fool out of themselves.

    However, if you are trying to defeat stigma
    then perhaps it would not be good to call them “leeches”.

    These people, and I speak from my own experience and seeing it in others are often just either trying to protect themselves from often a perceived or real hurt/threat in some way, or they are just trying to survive.

    This does not give them an excuse to act like this of course. But some are still learning what many learnt when they were between the ages of 2-10.

    It takes time, and we are all a work in progress.

    Sorry for that very long comment!

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