All I See Is Pain In The Mirror

Brunette woman in white robe crying in front of mirror

Painful Mirror

There will be days in your life when you’ll receive an uncomfortable text, phone call or message that will make your heart sink, your eyes tear and your mind fumble. You’ll sit there holding your phone while a million thoughts cross your mind faster than shooting stars. You’ll cross paths with a mirror and you’ll realize that all you see is pain.

Unfortunately, these moments will never seize to exist. This is called living life and experiencing suffering; there is no way around it. During these times, you will start questioning your lifestyle, wondering why you’re in the position that you are in. You will even start to put yourself down, like the outcome is somehow your fault.

Most of the time, the outcome is never your fault. Life is known to deliver unexpected and disappointing news; you just have to get used to it. One point to keep in mind is that when your life is going exceptionally well, remember that bad news can present at anytime. If you think like this, at least you’ll be prepared just in case bad news does enter your life.

Experiencing the painful mirror is very unpleasant. All you see when you look straight into it is pain dripping down your face; it’s either invisible or manifested as tears. Usually it’s both. Strangely enough, the beautiful thing about the painful mirror is that you see yourself suffering, reminding you of all the times that you aren’t.

If all you see is pain in the mirror, trust me when I say that you are not alone. So many people right this minute are experiencing the painful mirror; you just don’t know it because you may not know anyone who is suffering as of right now. But for just as many people in the world who are smiling right this second, the same amount are dripping tears down their nasolabial folds.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why are tears my painful fall?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Blessed But Still Suffering

Blessed brunette woman holding her hair near pink flowers

Everyday Nagging Pain

When everything lines up nicely and smoothly and your life is going according to plan, you become quick to admit to yourself, “I am blessed!” But when things don’t go your way and you start to complain to others, all you hear in return is, “count your blessings!” So whether you feel blessed or not, one thing remains obvious: suffering just does not seem to ever go away!

Many of us feel blessed when our lives are going according to plan. While a list cannot be composed because everyone considers their blessings to be different than others’, it can be universally concluded that feeling blessed equals something along the lines of, “living the life.” But even with all of our blessings, life still finds a way for us to suffer.

Some of us suffer by experiencing a nagging pain related to emptiness, as if we feel incomplete. We often feel like something is missing within us or in our lives; this is not in reference to materialism. This is in reference to something much larger: a deeper meaning about our lives and where we stand in the world.

Some of us also suffer because we lack a significant other or a close friend who we can call or hang out with. You can have all the materialism in the world and still feel incomplete, without a good set of friends! Continuing to indulge in materialism without meaningful relationships makes the surface smooth and shiny, but the interior dusty and rusty!

And then there are the unexpected life circumstances that can happen at anytime. This can include the death of a loved one or friend, the loss of your job or just about anything under the sun. Keep in mind that you may be blessed and still experience unexpected life circumstances. And your blessings won’t help you recover from them any easier!

It’s fair to say that no matter how blessed you are or you will be, you will always be suffering in one way or the other; maybe not at the same level as others, but still at some level significant enough to impact your emotions, mental health and well-being. Remember that your mental health is not immune to everyday suffering; blessings are not a shield that protects your mental health.

Your mental health is very vulnerable to change, pain and influence by outside forces. Maintaining sound mental health on a consistent basis is a much bigger blessing than living a life full of pleasure and materialism. With sound mental health, you can at least enjoy the peacefulness of sanity. Without sanity, the many blessings that you may have can easily fall apart very quickly.

Are you blessed? Are you still suffering? Probably so.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Prince Harry Mental Health

Group of women suffering from mental illness and standing on rock fragment outside

Even The Wealthiest Among Us Suffer

Prince Harry has come out of the shadows to admit that he has suffered for years from blocked emotions, mini-breakdowns, panic attacks and rage. This news should bring us excitement, not because of his suffering, but because it reinforces the idea that nobody is immune to mental health issues; mental health has no boundaries.

Many people suffer from mental health issues because they have never properly grieved a death in their family. It is actually very common, even among substance-abuse patients. They believe that by turning to a substance that will help numb the pain away, they can forget about the death.

But substances do not help forget about the death, they just bury the pain deeper into the unconscious mind. But once a substance is stopped, guess what slowly crawls back to the surface? Others don’t turn to substances, but constantly suppress the memories related to their loved one who has passed away.

By constantly suppressing memories and not grieving, the emotions slowly build up overtime. Once a trigger makes an appearance, it greatly increases the chances of the emotions spilling out and causing a massive breakdown. Massive breakdowns may be just the right amount of trigger to cause a serious depression or psychotic break.

We cannot progress in the field of mental health without honesty and open dialogue. We need everyone to come forward and admit to their struggles. Share it on The DSM Ready community and help others to come out as well. We need all the help we can get, and this will only be achieved via honesty and communication!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

To Win Is To Suffer

Young man reaching his arms up high after winning

Keep Pushing The Limits

Perseverance, persistence, confidence, repetition, hard work, motivation, etc. All of these traits are necessary to push to the next level and elevate your status. But to achieve higher levels of success requires experiencing more hurdles of pain. Without pain, there is no easy ride.

Many obstacles can present themselves on your path to success. But obstacles are not meant to be viewed in a negative manner; they are there to help you develop more resilience and strength. Some obstacles are more difficult than others; but the more difficult ones bring the most memorable rewards.

To develop an attitude of winning is to remain humble, hungry and respectful to yourself and to others around you; those who are not, only win to a certain extent. What comes around goes around: to consistently win and climb the ladder of success requires a persona that can be appreciated by many.

The consequence of winning is recognition: people notice when achievements are earned. To win is to achieve a successful result in a contest, conflict or endeavor; every human being wants to win! It’s a natural feeling that brings joy, bliss and a sense of well-being.

Many people don’t achieve their full potential because they become comfortable with their current level of success. If you have achieved success, why stop now? As long as your mind, body and soul are willing, that means that there is more gas in the tank for you to keep pushing the limits!

Most importantly, the process of winning is meant to be fun. That means that the process of suffering is meant to be fun, since to win is to suffer. Fun means enjoyment, amusement or lighthearted pleasure. Why is suffering fun? Because it brings you one step closer to achieving your goals!

But the actual process of suffering feels miserable. It’s accompanied by pain, tears, stress, anger, sadness and uncertainty. But remind yourself that without experiencing these emotions, it becomes very difficult to win and achieve success. Therefore, retrain your mind to view suffering as a fun process, that will one day deliver you the goods which you have longed for!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Everyday Suffering

Old man sitting on outside steps crying with hand over face

You Cannot Suffer The Past Or The Future

Whether you are successful or not, suffering is part of life. As soon as you accept the pain that comes with suffering, the easier it will become to get through the process. One mistake many people make is that they try to battle through the pain rather than just allowing it to be.

Just allowing it to be means experiencing pain or unpleasant feelings without raising your expectation for their disappearance. Do not look for the suffering to end; this will just add more emphasis to the situation. Rather, learn to experience suffering without allowing it to get to you.

The way you do this is by moving on with your life and staying positive as often as you can. With persistent repetition, positivity will slowly overcome your suffering on a more consistent basis. But you have to adopt this mindset and apply it every day for this to work.

You have to come to the realization and acceptance that suffering will always present itself into your life; there is no way of avoiding it. You may not even be doing anything wrong and it still somehow will present itself at your doorstep; it’s just the way life works. So rather than pulling your hair out and crying over why “I’m always out of luck and my life sucks”, expect suffering when it arrives and go on with your life as if nothing new is happening; a “been there, done that” mentality.

The reality is that you cannot suffer the past or the future; you are living in the present and that is all that you can suffer. You may dwell on your past and relive the pain previously experienced, but that pain is only in the form of memories; the past no longer exists. You may dwell on your future and experience pain and worry about what lies ahead, but those are just imaginative scenarios created by your mind; the future does not yet exist.

All you can do is suffer in the present; everyday suffering. No matter how painful suffering is, try to look at the positives that it brings:

  • It builds character
  • It gives you strength and stamina
  • It provides you with experience and wisdom
  • It sets you up for future happiness
  • It makes you more appreciative of life
  • It humbles you
  • It helps break down your ego and build you back up
  • It makes life bitter sweet when it is all over

The biggest mistake that you can make is to give in to suffering and allow it to rock you into the ground (no pun intended). Do not allow suffering to take over your life. You have to learn how to live a happy and successful life while still suffering from time to time.

After all, what is joy without a little pain?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Imagery And Repetition Are Aspects Of Success

Young blonde woman wearing blue top while standing on plain field celebrating success

Suffering From Success

To accomplish is to first see it in the eye of your mind. Visualizing your goals before achieving them preps your path towards making them a reality. Living it in your mind before in reality allows you to connect with the emotions of that event; it increases your belief that you deserve whatever you want!

It takes much repetition in your mind and in reality to achieve success. Without persistence and hard work, success moves farther off into the distance. Most people do not want to put in the hard work because it is easier to become complacent with the current situation; this mentality promotes mediocracy.

There is suffering before success and suffering from success; one indicates that you are on the path to achieving it and the other indicates that you have achieved it but still in pain. Suffering does not go away once success has arrived; it is part of life whether rich or poor. It’s how you handle the suffering that separates resilient individuals from the rest.

To become successful, you must be willing to sacrifice time, energy and even situations; to gain something greater requires losing something lesser. For some, time is precious and are not willing to sacrifice it; they may never see success. For others, time is pointless and are willing to take up as much of it to see results; success might be around the corner.

You decide what it takes to become successful, but one common theme remains: imagery, repetition, thankfulness and sacrifice usually deliver you the results!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

The Painful Rollercoast

Man dressed in a shirt experiencing pain

Do Not Run Away From Pain

Pain is part of life. From the time of our birth, to the death of our loved ones, the concept of pain is experienced at all times. But why do we experience pain? What is the role behind it and is there a way to avoid it?

Pain can be physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Because pain is experienced in so many different ways, there is absolutely no way of avoiding it. Therefore, rather than running away from pain, we should embrace it by experiencing its full effect and reaping the benefits: a development of a stronger character, a more experienced perception of life and increased resilience! The concept of pain is not an accidental design in human nature; it is a purposeful experience that humans must go through in order to build character.

When a cycle of pain ends, have you noticed that you come out of the experience feeling stronger and more confident to tackle the challenges of life? Unfortunately, many people remain stuck in a cycle of pain, leading to depression, suicidal thoughts and even death. It can be very dangerous to remain stuck in a cycle of pain and not learn how to deal with it in the moment.

Remember that we all are in this together; experiencing the concept of pain during our lives. It is an inevitable feeling that will come back into our lives at unexpected times, but we must not fall shy from experiencing it. Together, via the DSM Movement, we can help each other deal with pain through the sharing of our experiences with pain and how to handle various situations.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)