What Sucks About Being Single (Even When You’re Cool With It)  — Thought Catalog

The thing that sucks the most about being single is the societal belief that you’re better off in a relationship. That you must be miserable if you’re alone. That you could not possibly be happy unless you’re in a committed relationship that is headed somewhere serious. Even when you’re cool with your single status, it’s…

What Sucks About Being Single (Even When You’re Cool With It)  — Thought Catalog

Not Being In A Relationship

Silhouette of man and woman crying under yellow sky

Living The Single Life

Many people become way too worried about not being in a relationship. They believe that if they hit a certain age, their chances of finding someone meaningful goes down. What they are experiencing is the perceived pressure that society puts on them. The reality is that if you believe wholeheartedly that you will meet someone significant, then it shall be done for you.

Do not be discouraged when others tell you that you should try to be in more relationships as a form of practice. What form of practice? If the divorce rate continues to remain higher than it should, then clearly couples are doing something wrong. So what purpose does the experience of being in a relationship hold, when the final result ends up in disaster?

This is not to indicate that you shouldn’t try to find a relationship and enjoy your time with a significant other. This is to indicate that you shouldn’t stress yourself out, nor make it a priority to be in a relationship. Relationships aren’t what they used to be like back in the day: early marriage, closer families and the influence of religion to keep marriages going the distance.

People are more independent now and some even argue that the younger generation is currently in a “hook-up culture.” Whatever the reality is, one thing is for certain: practicing being in a relationship does no where near guarantee that you will meet “the one” and live happily ever after.

A mistake that many people make is rushing into a relationship or marriage thinking, “they’re the one, I love them!” Let me ask you a question: do you really wholeheartedly believe that they are the one, or are you worried about your increasing age and that those around you are already in a relationship or married?

Because to be frank, it unfortunately seems that the latter is now more the case: people are hitting their 30s and freaking out that they’re single or feel embarrassed because they still don’t have a significant other while their friends do. So they end up making impulsive and irrational decisions like committing to a relationship, which they otherwise may have never committed to, if the circumstances were different.

Don’t be ashamed of living the single life. Yes, it may become difficult at times due to loneliness and the desire to share your heart with someone else. But if you believe that it will happen for you in the future, then it will most certainly will! And stop looking for a relationship; stop “putting yourself out there.”

It seems like the more that you look for a relationship, the more it backfires in some unknown way. Or the more that you look for a relationship, the higher your chances of finding someone who is not right for you; your mind becomes blinded by impulsive and desperate decision-making.

What you should rather be doing is focusing on improving yourself and living a more prosperous life. Allow life to bring the two of you together and have faith in God; leave it in his hands! If you believe in God and that he knew you before you knew yourself, then allow him to bring your significant other into your life.

This does not mean that you should just sit around your house and hope that someone will fall onto your doorsteps. It still means that you should live your life and perform the activities that you regularly do, but without putting pressure on yourself and going out there looking for relationships.

Allow the natural course of your life to play out as it should.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Single People Are The Best

Single man riding on kayak on lake during sunset

When Relationships Are Not A Factor

Many single people complain that they are not in a relationship or that they will never find someone special. This is understandable, because not many people like being single, except those with schizoid personality disorder. A single life may lead to sadness, boredom and a sense of not being emotionally fulfilled. But on the other hand, single people have many great attributes!

Single people are great at being responsible. They have managed to lead an independent life, without relying on others for help, satisfaction or entertainment. They know how to get things done in time and in a quality manner. You can almost always rely on a single person, because they have been forced to accept responsibility when not having been in a relationship.

Single people know how to have fun! Because they do not have a partner to commit to, they must come up with activities to keep them busy. Some of these activities include playing sports, going out, working out and just about anything creative that they can think of. There are no limitations to the single life.

Single people are resilient! By not being in a relationship, they have learned how to handle emotional pain and hardships. Their strength especially shines during times of adversity and challenging quests. By being able to handle hardships while being single, they have learned to come up with effective solutions to life’s most toughest problems; and they implement the solutions quite effectively.

Single people are very motivated! With no relationship looming over their shoulders, they have time to come up with creative ideas and seek new patterns and ways of living. This gives them the freedom and flexibility to adopt new states of mind, which may help set them up for a more prosperous future.

Are you single? And why? Feel free to share your story on The DSM Platform.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)