Trials & Tribulations During The COVID-19 Disaster

Sad brunette white woman sitting outdoors near train tracks during daytime

Isolated With Painful Memories

As every day passes, we continue to hear more negative news in the media regarding new developments on the coronavirus pandemic. President Trump is calling this a Chinese virus, the democrats and republicans continue to bash each other’s heads and hospitals are becoming overwhelmed, all while people continue to remain isolated at home with no end in site. Trials and tribulations during the COVID-19 disaster is something very real and common!

Many people are losing their jobs! Can you imagine how it must feel to be temporarily laid off not knowing when your next paycheck will be? Especially for people who don’t have enough money to pay their next couple of rents! And it’s not like you can run outside and find a corner job to hop on; who in the world is hiring these days?

During these sour times, relationships also tend to go south. Couples break up with each other, marriages fall apart and parent-teen relationships become more disturbing. The regular rhythm of people’s lives has been disrupted and many do not handle change well. In fact, the most successful people in life are masters at effectively handling change, but when it comes to relationships, that can be quite difficult if the two parties involved are not mentally and emotionally stable!

Unfortunately, many are catching COVID, making their home experience even more difficult than it originally was. This is especially true for states such as New York, Louisiana and Michigan. Let’s not forget how hard-hit Italy, Spain and China are! And the worst part about it is that the virus is showing no signs of slowing down; a hungry eating machine, it plans on devouring as many human lives as it possibly can.

And then there’s mental health. When you already are suffering from depression and anxiety at baseline and have to deal with trials and tribulations during social isolation, things can escalate rather quickly! Especially when you are also experiencing painful memories of your past; these tend to come out at random times, like when you have a lot of free time on your hands.

This blog was created to help us come together not only during terrible times such as these, but every single day going forward from now on. The goal is to make as much of humanity connect on mental health issues as we possibly can. Only through honesty and forthcoming conversations will we be able to achieve this. One way that you can contribute is by sharing this blog with all your friends and family and by spreading the word about The DSM Ready Movement on your social media platforms!

Together we will one day be able to make The DSM Ready Movement become a reality in the eyes of the entire world!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Don’t Settle For An Unbalanced, Unreliable, Untrustworthy Relationship  — Thought Catalog

Don’t settle for an unbalanced relationship where you’re always doing the bulk of the work. Where you’re running around, trying to get chores done and plan dates and come up with conversation topics. Where you’re in charge of every single aspect that makes the relationship run smoothly. Where you’re loaded down with stress. You need…

Don’t Settle For An Unbalanced, Unreliable, Untrustworthy Relationship  — Thought Catalog

I’m Slowly Learning Effort Will Make Or Break A Relationship — Thought Catalog

In the early stages of a relationship, you don’t want to be stuck doing all the work. You don’t want to be the only one initiating texts. The only one planning dates. The only one getting dressed up. The only one who seems to give a shit. But that doesn’t end once you’re in a…

I’m Slowly Learning Effort Will Make Or Break A Relationship — Thought Catalog

Not Being In A Relationship

Silhouette of man and woman crying under yellow sky

Living The Single Life

Many people become way too worried about not being in a relationship. They believe that if they hit a certain age, their chances of finding someone meaningful goes down. What they are experiencing is the perceived pressure that society puts on them. The reality is that if you believe wholeheartedly that you will meet someone significant, then it shall be done for you.

Do not be discouraged when others tell you that you should try to be in more relationships as a form of practice. What form of practice? If the divorce rate continues to remain higher than it should, then clearly couples are doing something wrong. So what purpose does the experience of being in a relationship hold, when the final result ends up in disaster?

This is not to indicate that you shouldn’t try to find a relationship and enjoy your time with a significant other. This is to indicate that you shouldn’t stress yourself out, nor make it a priority to be in a relationship. Relationships aren’t what they used to be like back in the day: early marriage, closer families and the influence of religion to keep marriages going the distance.

People are more independent now and some even argue that the younger generation is currently in a “hook-up culture.” Whatever the reality is, one thing is for certain: practicing being in a relationship does no where near guarantee that you will meet “the one” and live happily ever after.

A mistake that many people make is rushing into a relationship or marriage thinking, “they’re the one, I love them!” Let me ask you a question: do you really wholeheartedly believe that they are the one, or are you worried about your increasing age and that those around you are already in a relationship or married?

Because to be frank, it unfortunately seems that the latter is now more the case: people are hitting their 30s and freaking out that they’re single or feel embarrassed because they still don’t have a significant other while their friends do. So they end up making impulsive and irrational decisions like committing to a relationship, which they otherwise may have never committed to, if the circumstances were different.

Don’t be ashamed of living the single life. Yes, it may become difficult at times due to loneliness and the desire to share your heart with someone else. But if you believe that it will happen for you in the future, then it will most certainly will! And stop looking for a relationship; stop “putting yourself out there.”

It seems like the more that you look for a relationship, the more it backfires in some unknown way. Or the more that you look for a relationship, the higher your chances of finding someone who is not right for you; your mind becomes blinded by impulsive and desperate decision-making.

What you should rather be doing is focusing on improving yourself and living a more prosperous life. Allow life to bring the two of you together and have faith in God; leave it in his hands! If you believe in God and that he knew you before you knew yourself, then allow him to bring your significant other into your life.

This does not mean that you should just sit around your house and hope that someone will fall onto your doorsteps. It still means that you should live your life and perform the activities that you regularly do, but without putting pressure on yourself and going out there looking for relationships.

Allow the natural course of your life to play out as it should.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Even Lovers Need A Holiday

Couple holding hands on top of hill above clouds

Give Space Where Space Is Due

Whether in a casual, short-term or long-term relationship, giving space to your significant other is very important. Being clingy and always available can actually turn off your partner; it signals weakness and desperation. These traits can become apparent at any point in a relationship; no one is 100% immune.

Giving space to your significant other means what it sounds like: allow them to breath and live their life without your constant input and presence. Giving space helps build lost attraction and intensifies your relationship when the two of you do come together. When you sense yourself becoming desperate, remind yourself that this may be a form of anxiety.

Desperation may be a form of anxiety because you unconsciously worry that you might lose your lover. Therefore, you become clingy: you text them all the time; you breath down their throat; you always want to do things together; you lose interest in other activities. When this happens, you are setting yourself up for failure; a major buzzkill and blow to your ego.

Giving others space is a basic human concept that should be applied to everyone, not just lovers. The absence of presence builds curiosity, interest and passion way more than if you’re around them all of the time. Allow life to naturally bring people to you; don’t force things to happen when your intuition is telling you otherwise.

It sometimes feels like your mind and intuition are opposing forces and you’re stuck in the middle; you often fall for what your mind tells you. For instance, your mind may tell you to text a person you’re interested in, while your intuition is screaming “hold your horses, don’t do that!” When you ignore your intuition, that is when negative results begin to pile up.

If you got as far as being in a casual, short-term or long-term relationship, then put your anxiety aside and keep doing what you’re doing; there is no need for clinginess, desperation and unattractive behavior. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot because you have been closer to your prize than ever before. Maintain the attractive qualities of independence, confidence and honesty and you will be in good shape!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sexless Relationships

Man and woman in a sexless relationship riding bikes together

When Sex Is Not The Agenda

A lot of great relationships are not based on sexual intercourse. Rapport, connection and emotions are much more powerful and consistent ways of understanding another human being; they provide comfort and a desire to learn more about the other person.

If you find yourself looking for sex all of the time, then you are missing out on the beauty of relationships; many go astray based on sexual energy alone. Excluding sexual intercourse from a relationship relieves much pressure on both parties: the female feels more at ease and the male learns to appreciate the beauty of emotional connection.

Sexless relationships allow connections to organically flourish; there is no longer any pressure on how physical interactions will play out. The energy is redirected into understanding the other person, storytelling, laughing and a general sense of well-being.

The beautiful thing is that relationships can evolve much more naturally without the pressure of sex. Time is in your favor because you no longer worry about how long it will take to develop sexual chemistry; you just let things naturally flow. Intimacy is no longer the agenda; passion, love and chemistry have trumped the former.

Sexless relationships depend on who you are interacting with. But the idea can be applied to any person you meet, because the most important thing in any relationship is establishing rapport based on common interests. If you can do this, then you will have no problem maintaining fruitful and healthy relationships!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sociopaths In Relationships

Sociopathic man with painted face

Sociopathic Behavior

A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder that manifests itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience. Sociopaths can seem very charming during the initial encounters, but overtime, their inner demons become unleashed.

The traits of a sociopath:

  • Superficial charm
  • Manipulation and conning
  • Pathological lying
  • Grandiose sense of self
  • Shallow emotions
  • Incapacity for love
  • Lack of remorse or guilt
  • Criminality
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior
  • Impulsive nature
  • Need for stimulation

A relationship cannot be maintained with a sociopath because everything is about them; you are just for entertainment. They often attempt to dominate and humiliate you when you have done nothing wrong. They believe that they are entitled to every wish and will consistently lie to the point of being able to pass a lie detector test with flying colors!

Sociopaths are filled with rage and view another person as a target or opportunity for manipulation and gain. Your presence feeds their ego, but their presence destroys your sense of well-being. They are also very promiscuous and partake in gambling; their need for stimulation is on fire.

They have no concern for their impact on others and have no sense of personal boundaries; they alternate rage with small expressions of love which is part of their manipulative act. And they will never blame themselves and take responsibility; others are at fault!

A sociopath is not a person to even consider being a friend with; get out of their life as soon as your intuition rings a bell!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Keep Your Circle Small

A close group of friends involving two men and two women

Less is More

Take a look at all the stars in the sky; this is the amount of superficial relationships that exist in this day in age. People come and go as they please; millennials call it “ghosting.” Who you can trust and rely on is not clear anymore; trial and error has sadly become the norm.

If you ever sense any hesitation or your intuition gives you a funny feeling about a certain person, then it’s time to reconsider your relationship with them; don’t waste any more of your precious time, because life is too short to keep beating around the bush.

Find a few friends who you can build a trustworthy and healthy relationship with and work it from there. Less is more! The potency of a few valuable friendships is undeniably greater than a large group of superficial friends who do not have your best interest at heart.

A tight trustworthy circle of friends will keep you happy, satisfied, safe and emotionally healthy; they will be there for you at your worst times. They will not allow you to fail and will have your back when life gives you lemons.

The DSM Ready Movement is about establishing trustworthy and loving friendships!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Is Sex Overrated?

Blonde woman and man in a relationship getting ready to have sex

Sex Is Not The Glue

The beautiful act of sex always comes to mind but is sex something we should always get excited about? Sex and relationships can get fuzzy at times depending on the characters involved. Always take a step back and analyze your current situation; putting your emotions aside will allow you to see past the love sac.

Great Sex | Great Relationship

This is the couple who have great sex and a wonderful relationship. For them, everything is almost perfect; their love life has high ratings and their relationship is prospering. The sex for this couple probably does not get old if mixed up properly; they probably know what they’re doing.

Great Sex | Terrible Relationship

Then there is the couple who have great sex but hate their guts. They almost cannot stand each other and get on their nerves very easily. They remain together out of desperation, frustration, insecurity, lack of resources and you guessed it, great sex! But for this couple, the sex won’t keep them in bondage for long. I mean really! How many times can you have sex and expect a dying relationship to prosper?

Bad Sex | Great Relationship

This is the couple who love each other, get along 99% of the time and are best friends. But the sex is not compatible; he is either lame in the sac or she has too much experience for him, making him appear lame, or vice versa. Whatever the reason, they do not match in bed. Fortunately for this couple, if the relationship is truely genuine, the sex can improve over time with consistent effort from both parties. Bad sex is not the reason a great relationship fails, and if it is, then one person in the relationship had hidden intentions all along.

Bad Sex | Bad Relationship

Well, should we even address this one? Not only do they hate their presence, but the sex takes more effort than running a half marathon. These relationships do not last longer than 24-48 hours.

So as you can see, there are many scenarios in which sex either enhances a relationship, complicates it or completely destroys it. At the end of the day, no matter how good the sex is, it is not the glue of bondage in a relationship. Emotional connection, caring and love still prevail and help a relationship go the distance. Sex is just icing on the cake.

Focus on improving your relationship and then work on enhancing the sex.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Weed Out Your Friendships

Friends walking in front of water fountain around palm trees

Look Beyond The Mask

Who are your true friends? We often think that we may have made exciting new friends, but there is always a true character behind the mask. A true friend will offer to take his or her mask off within days of meeting you; they know that you are trustworthy and goodhearted.

But can you say the same about them? We often fall victim of false friendships out of insecurity and desperation. Sometimes we just want to fit in; other times we are blindfolded and cannot tell the difference between friend and foe. And then we wonder why pain has made its way into our lives again.

That is why you must develop an eye for weeding out your friendships. Allow your intuition to guide you in the process; if there are more negative feelings related to a person, they are a foe. If there are more positive feelings related to a person, they are a friend. But even then, always be wary because “friends can be your worst enemy”; after all, they know you best.

Becoming paranoid on who is your friend or foe is not the direction you should take. Paranoia will only isolate you and you will end up with none. But be smart, sharp and wise! Learn from your past relationships, analyze why they ended or why they lasted. Do not let history repeat itself in a negative fashion; your heart does not deserve the pain from people who do not have your best interest.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)