Mental Health: How Borderline disorder is affecting intimate relationships — Perspective

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is pushing most intimacy relationships past the brink of intimacy. If you’re a lover of RnB music, then certainly you’ve heard Brandy’s new song ‘Borderline.’ The Grammy-winning songstress in the visuals of the song portrays a woman so in love that’s she borderline insane, we see Brandy sporting a copper toned […]

Mental Health: How Borderline disorder is affecting intimate relationships — Perspective

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Gray-Hearted Individuals

Angry brown Indian male pointing finger with open mouth

People Who Get Under Your Skin

We have all experienced being around people who get under our skin; there’s no avoiding it. These individuals roam the world like wild flock, crossing your path at predictable and unpredictable times. Some of these people you have to work with and see them on a daily basis while others randomly come and go. Whatever the situation, almost anyone will agree that they are a pain in the ass to deal with. Not only do they get under your skin, but they get under many people’s skin.

One thing to keep in mind is that attempting to understand where they come from will do you no good in the long run; you’ll often never find out. You may ask yourself why. The reason is because they will not change their perception and attitude towards you; if they haven’t after a month, six months or a year, then they never will. So why bother wasting your energy attempting to under them?

I call these people gray-hearted individuals because it’s not clear whether their hearts are filled with love or hatred. A lot of times, it feels like they are in-between; on some days you are able to sense some love while on others, all you can feel is anger, jealousy, envy and hatred. One thing that you know for sure is that their hearts are not full of love because otherwise, they wouldn’t be rude and mean to you in the first place.

People who carry a lot of love in their hearts do not consistently get under your skin. These are the people who you can feel their love radiate not only onto you, but onto everyone in the room as well. These are the people who even if you don’t have much in common with, you can sense that they are loving human beings. Remember that you don’t have to have something in common with someone who is loving.

But these gray-hearted individuals are bitter and lack a heart full of love. If they feel threatened in any way by you, they are quick to jump on your back to stab it a few hundred times; it’s almost an automatic response for them because they have been doing it their entire lives. On the other hand, if you get on their good side, they decrease their attacks on you, but at what expense are you willing to sacrifice your sanity to get on their good side? If you can do it by still being yourself, then that’s what you call emotional intelligence!

What is your experience like with these gray-hearted individuals?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

The Importance Of Maintaining Professionalism

White women and men dressed in black suits sitting around wooden table

You Won’t Like Everyone That You Meet

You’ll find yourself in many situations where you’ll meet new people and immediately feel the disconnect and distance. The first few moments are the warmup stage; you shoot your shot and they shoot theirs. But after about 30 seconds to a minute, you quickly realize that things are getting awkward and that maybe distance is the better option. Everyone experiences these situations and you are not alone!

What I mean by professionalism is that even though you may dislike this new person in your life, it is important to still maintain proper manners and be respectful. This seems like common sense but it’s so easy to lose your cool, especially if you’re not having a great day. Remember that just because you guys didn’t click at first does not mean that you will never click. For some relations, it just takes more time to break the ice.

But you may never break the ice and that is okay as well. Remember that the other person is still thinking about you and observing you despite their lack of connection with you. This means that by being respectful towards them, they are recognizing that your character is valuable and respectful as well. This will help you establish a good reputation that others will remember you by.

You won’t like everyone that you meet but that’s life! Don’t fret over it and definitely don’t lose sleep. Your mental health is much more valuable than getting into pointless arguments with someone who you just met. Just play it cool and focus on what you have to do. The rest will fall in its place.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Manic And Drugged Up

Manic woman with long dark hair with hand on face with open mouth

When Mania Destroys Your Relationships

Depending on the severity of the mania and the person behind the illness, conversations can be quite pleasant or destructive with manic patients. When they’re pleasant, they revolve around interesting and grandiose delusions such as working with famous actors or become the next Stephen King. When conversations are destructive, you may be seen as an enemy and even be attacked during an interview.

Patients usually enjoy being manic because they feel elated, have a lot of energy, think and talk very fast and feel like they can accomplish anything; roadblocks are not often in their way. But with mania comes many consequences due to potentially destructive behavior, such as throwing things out of the house, sending unexpected large sums of wire transfers, destroying property, banging on doors, becoming verbally and physically aggressive, etc.

When someone becomes manic, the potential for destroying a relationship is extremely high; it can happen as quickly as in a few minutes. All it takes are some disgustingly evil words and perhaps even actions and the bridge is burned. But it’s not their fault because they are not being themselves when under the influence of mania; it’s part of their mental illness known as Bipolar I Disorder.

Bipolar I disorder is when a patient experiences mania; depression is not a requirement but they may also fluctuate into a depressed state of mind when they’re not manic. If a patient only has depression but has never had a manic episode, it’s not bipolar. You can think of bipolar as a disorder of great mood instability: rather than a flat baseline where most peoples’ mood lie, mania is above the baseline while depression is below.

More complicated pictures of mania is when drugs are involved. Some manic patients may be abusing methamphetamine which causes similar symptoms as mania: euphoria, a great amount of energy, days without sleep, no appetite, weight loss, a lot of strength, agitation, unpredictability, aggression, violence, paranoia and even psychosis. If a patient tests positive for meth but they have a history of bipolar disorder, it becomes a challenge to discern the correct diagnosis.

As you can see, drugs have no boundaries: they can create an addiction in any person, regardless of whether they have a mental illness or not. As I stated in one of my previous articles, mental illness and drugs go hand in hand as if they are a tag team: one infects a person first and brings in the other for the kill. Mental illness kills by relying on suicide, while drugs kill by relying on overdosing.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Trials & Tribulations During The COVID-19 Disaster

Sad brunette white woman sitting outdoors near train tracks during daytime

Isolated With Painful Memories

As every day passes, we continue to hear more negative news in the media regarding new developments on the coronavirus pandemic. President Trump is calling this a Chinese virus, the democrats and republicans continue to bash each other’s heads and hospitals are becoming overwhelmed, all while people continue to remain isolated at home with no end in site. Trials and tribulations during the COVID-19 disaster is something very real and common!

Many people are losing their jobs! Can you imagine how it must feel to be temporarily laid off not knowing when your next paycheck will be? Especially for people who don’t have enough money to pay their next couple of rents! And it’s not like you can run outside and find a corner job to hop on; who in the world is hiring these days?

During these sour times, relationships also tend to go south. Couples break up with each other, marriages fall apart and parent-teen relationships become more disturbing. The regular rhythm of people’s lives has been disrupted and many do not handle change well. In fact, the most successful people in life are masters at effectively handling change, but when it comes to relationships, that can be quite difficult if the two parties involved are not mentally and emotionally stable!

Unfortunately, many are catching COVID, making their home experience even more difficult than it originally was. This is especially true for states such as New York, Louisiana and Michigan. Let’s not forget how hard-hit Italy, Spain and China are! And the worst part about it is that the virus is showing no signs of slowing down; a hungry eating machine, it plans on devouring as many human lives as it possibly can.

And then there’s mental health. When you already are suffering from depression and anxiety at baseline and have to deal with trials and tribulations during social isolation, things can escalate rather quickly! Especially when you are also experiencing painful memories of your past; these tend to come out at random times, like when you have a lot of free time on your hands.

This blog was created to help us come together not only during terrible times such as these, but every single day going forward from now on. The goal is to make as much of humanity connect on mental health issues as we possibly can. Only through honesty and forthcoming conversations will we be able to achieve this. One way that you can contribute is by sharing this blog with all your friends and family and by spreading the word about The DSM Ready Movement on your social media platforms!

Together we will one day be able to make The DSM Ready Movement become a reality in the eyes of the entire world!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Don’t Settle For An Unbalanced, Unreliable, Untrustworthy Relationship  — Thought Catalog

Don’t settle for an unbalanced relationship where you’re always doing the bulk of the work. Where you’re running around, trying to get chores done and plan dates and come up with conversation topics. Where you’re in charge of every single aspect that makes the relationship run smoothly. Where you’re loaded down with stress. You need…

Don’t Settle For An Unbalanced, Unreliable, Untrustworthy Relationship  — Thought Catalog

I’m Slowly Learning Effort Will Make Or Break A Relationship — Thought Catalog

In the early stages of a relationship, you don’t want to be stuck doing all the work. You don’t want to be the only one initiating texts. The only one planning dates. The only one getting dressed up. The only one who seems to give a shit. But that doesn’t end once you’re in a…

I’m Slowly Learning Effort Will Make Or Break A Relationship — Thought Catalog

Not Being In A Relationship

Silhouette of man and woman crying under yellow sky

Living The Single Life

Many people become way too worried about not being in a relationship. They believe that if they hit a certain age, their chances of finding someone meaningful goes down. What they are experiencing is the perceived pressure that society puts on them. The reality is that if you believe wholeheartedly that you will meet someone significant, then it shall be done for you.

Do not be discouraged when others tell you that you should try to be in more relationships as a form of practice. What form of practice? If the divorce rate continues to remain higher than it should, then clearly couples are doing something wrong. So what purpose does the experience of being in a relationship hold, when the final result ends up in disaster?

This is not to indicate that you shouldn’t try to find a relationship and enjoy your time with a significant other. This is to indicate that you shouldn’t stress yourself out, nor make it a priority to be in a relationship. Relationships aren’t what they used to be like back in the day: early marriage, closer families and the influence of religion to keep marriages going the distance.

People are more independent now and some even argue that the younger generation is currently in a “hook-up culture.” Whatever the reality is, one thing is for certain: practicing being in a relationship does no where near guarantee that you will meet “the one” and live happily ever after.

A mistake that many people make is rushing into a relationship or marriage thinking, “they’re the one, I love them!” Let me ask you a question: do you really wholeheartedly believe that they are the one, or are you worried about your increasing age and that those around you are already in a relationship or married?

Because to be frank, it unfortunately seems that the latter is now more the case: people are hitting their 30s and freaking out that they’re single or feel embarrassed because they still don’t have a significant other while their friends do. So they end up making impulsive and irrational decisions like committing to a relationship, which they otherwise may have never committed to, if the circumstances were different.

Don’t be ashamed of living the single life. Yes, it may become difficult at times due to loneliness and the desire to share your heart with someone else. But if you believe that it will happen for you in the future, then it will most certainly will! And stop looking for a relationship; stop “putting yourself out there.”

It seems like the more that you look for a relationship, the more it backfires in some unknown way. Or the more that you look for a relationship, the higher your chances of finding someone who is not right for you; your mind becomes blinded by impulsive and desperate decision-making.

What you should rather be doing is focusing on improving yourself and living a more prosperous life. Allow life to bring the two of you together and have faith in God; leave it in his hands! If you believe in God and that he knew you before you knew yourself, then allow him to bring your significant other into your life.

This does not mean that you should just sit around your house and hope that someone will fall onto your doorsteps. It still means that you should live your life and perform the activities that you regularly do, but without putting pressure on yourself and going out there looking for relationships.

Allow the natural course of your life to play out as it should.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Even Lovers Need A Holiday

Couple holding hands on top of hill above clouds

Give Space Where Space Is Due

Whether in a casual, short-term or long-term relationship, giving space to your significant other is very important. Being clingy and always available can actually turn off your partner; it signals weakness and desperation. These traits can become apparent at any point in a relationship; no one is 100% immune.

Giving space to your significant other means what it sounds like: allow them to breath and live their life without your constant input and presence. Giving space helps build lost attraction and intensifies your relationship when the two of you do come together. When you sense yourself becoming desperate, remind yourself that this may be a form of anxiety.

Desperation may be a form of anxiety because you unconsciously worry that you might lose your lover. Therefore, you become clingy: you text them all the time; you breath down their throat; you always want to do things together; you lose interest in other activities. When this happens, you are setting yourself up for failure; a major buzzkill and blow to your ego.

Giving others space is a basic human concept that should be applied to everyone, not just lovers. The absence of presence builds curiosity, interest and passion way more than if you’re around them all of the time. Allow life to naturally bring people to you; don’t force things to happen when your intuition is telling you otherwise.

It sometimes feels like your mind and intuition are opposing forces and you’re stuck in the middle; you often fall for what your mind tells you. For instance, your mind may tell you to text a person you’re interested in, while your intuition is screaming “hold your horses, don’t do that!” When you ignore your intuition, that is when negative results begin to pile up.

If you got as far as being in a casual, short-term or long-term relationship, then put your anxiety aside and keep doing what you’re doing; there is no need for clinginess, desperation and unattractive behavior. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot because you have been closer to your prize than ever before. Maintain the attractive qualities of independence, confidence and honesty and you will be in good shape!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sexless Relationships

Man and woman in a sexless relationship riding bikes together

When Sex Is Not The Agenda

A lot of great relationships are not based on sexual intercourse. Rapport, connection and emotions are much more powerful and consistent ways of understanding another human being; they provide comfort and a desire to learn more about the other person.

If you find yourself looking for sex all of the time, then you are missing out on the beauty of relationships; many go astray based on sexual energy alone. Excluding sexual intercourse from a relationship relieves much pressure on both parties: the female feels more at ease and the male learns to appreciate the beauty of emotional connection.

Sexless relationships allow connections to organically flourish; there is no longer any pressure on how physical interactions will play out. The energy is redirected into understanding the other person, storytelling, laughing and a general sense of well-being.

The beautiful thing is that relationships can evolve much more naturally without the pressure of sex. Time is in your favor because you no longer worry about how long it will take to develop sexual chemistry; you just let things naturally flow. Intimacy is no longer the agenda; passion, love and chemistry have trumped the former.

Sexless relationships depend on who you are interacting with. But the idea can be applied to any person you meet, because the most important thing in any relationship is establishing rapport based on common interests. If you can do this, then you will have no problem maintaining fruitful and healthy relationships!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)