Comparing Yourself to Others

Social media images of people smiling

We all make the mistake to assume that others are happier than us just because they’re doing activities that sound fun. You are constantly comparing yourself to others which can be toxic for your mental health. This is especially true if you’re constantly putting yourself down while believing that others are living the life. Even if they are living fancy lives, what does this have to do with you? You waste so much energy magnifying their life instead of using it to improve yours.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

People have always compared themselves to others since the beginning of time. Physical comparisons focus on musculature, height and beauty. Material comparisons focus on wealth, cars, clothes and homes. People even compare their character traits by trying to emulate others. They love those who display humor, are the center of attention, attract attention from the opposite sex and demonstrate leadership. But the worst of them all is social media comparisons; people do it unconsciously.

What do I mean by unconscious social media comparisons? Take for instance Instagram, where you can find thousands of images on beauty and materialism. Some people will open the app every day and admire the lives of others that they don’t have. But rather than admiring them in a good way, they sit there feeling down because they lack the beauty and wealth which they see on the screen. This causes them to feel insecure and sad and results in a loss of confidence. I say this is an unconscious process because many people don’t realize that it’s the images that are making them feel down. They just keep looking at them day after day.

Comparing yourself to others: eyes with colors of Google logo

The Solution

Be comfortable with your physical traits and what you have. Start practicing gratitude and stop focusing on what you wish you had. There’s a difference between dreaming and seeking and comparing yourself to others. Dreaming is coming from your healthy, motivated side of your mind, while comparisons come from your insecure part of your mind. Why are you tapping into the secure portion of your mind? Let go and stop connecting with it. Focus on being thankful, practicing gratitude and keeping yourself inspired with awesome dreams.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Verbally-Aggressive People

Obnoxious man smoking cigarette

Dealing With Insecure People

Verbally-aggressive people are those who are typically insecure and project their emotions onto others. Because they are constantly dealing with negative thoughts and feelings on a daily basis, they attempt to redirect them onto others; especially those who are nice and kindhearted. This is because they find nice people to be easier targets.

Kind people are easier targets because they don’t often argue back. Kind people tend to be mature, responsible and respectable; they don’t feel the need to respond in malicious ways. So verbally-aggressive people take advantage of that and continue to direct their insecurities onto them.

Dealing with insecure people should not be a complex task. The best way to handle them is by allowing them to say whatever they want; act like you are not affected. If you do show signs of weakness, then they will capitalize on that moment and continue their aggression even more.

You may wonder why you should allow insecure people to continue being aggressive towards you. It all depends on the situation. If they are your friends whom you get along with, then allow them to keep doing it as long as you are not getting hurt in the process. Getting into arguments will lead you no where and only risks destroying your friendships.

If they are not your friends, then still allow them to remain verbally-aggressive; again, that is if you are not offended. But if they start getting under your skin, then kindly call them out on their words and actions in a friendly and mature way. The idea is to never show weakness by giving into their aggression.

You will always encounter insecure people; there’s no getting rid of them. To live a life with no insecure people is like living a life with people who have everything figured out; it just doesn’t exist. Insecurity is part of human nature; for some, more than others. If you react to every insecure person who comes your way, you will quickly become a very unhappy person.

Keep in mind that when people are verbally-aggressive towards you, they know very well what they are doing. They also know very well that they are the weaker person. So by demonstrating resilience, maturity and even humor, you’re showing them that you’re the stronger and better person. And you might even motivate them to learn from your impressive behavior!

Don’t take verbally-aggressive people seriously. Fill them with shame with your kind and loving ways.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)