Feeling Depressed

Feeling depressed - grayscale photo of depressed woman sitting next to window holding doll

When People Stomp All Over You

Many people are raised not to disobey their parents or argue back. As children, they fear their parent’s disapproval and do everything they can to appear perfect. As they slowly exit out of adolescence and enter the real world, they realize that their upbringing was not suitable for people outside their culture. They find themselves depressed because they care too much about what others think of them. They also don’t develop the strength to stand up for themselves; so they end up feeling depressed.

Your upbringing defines your adulthood to a great extent. It’s when you’re a child and adolescent that your personality is molded and shaped into your adult persona. If your personality is not well-shaped from a young age, you will experience relationship difficulties during your adulthood. When people stomp all over you, it means that you don’t have the courage nor strength to stand up for yourself.

You give others too much power and even turn them into authority figures, similarly to what you did with your parents growing up. When others make fun of you or point out your flaws, you become ashamed of yourself, internalizing and believing everything they say. Instead, you need to be standing up for yourself. You may experience what some like to call a “shutdown;” an episode of low energy, drive or motivation to do anything. You become a doormat with everyone walking on you.

Feeling depressed - sad women holding cup of coffee next to window

Feeling Depressed – It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way

Even though you have a job, raise children and are functional, your interaction with others limit your happiness. If people are nice and get along well with you, you find yourself having no problems. It’s only when those who argue back and critique you that you become frozen in time and don’t know how to react. You want to fight back, experiencing an internal desire to stand up for yourself and tell them, “Stop saying these things!” But sadly, you never learned how to do so growing up.

But it’s never too late! Psychotherapy is the process of analyzing your life and learning how to change your thoughts and behaviors. Anyone can benefit from psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapy; you don’t need a mental illness to be qualified for therapy. If you find yourself in this category of persons who are functional but struggling with depression and problematic behaviors, then I highly recommend you start psychotherapy. You will not regret it.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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