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Feeling Sad for No Reason

Sad woman in black cardigan near trees

See Where Sadness Takes You

Don’t hide from your sadness; see where it takes you. Observe how it makes you feel and what thoughts it brings to the surface. We all tend to shy away from sadness and use the unconscious, immature defense mechanism known as denial. We all tend to carry on like sadness is “Not for me.” But it is for you! You have to stare sadness in the eye and tell it, “You’re back. What are you going to teach me this time?” Feeling sad for no reason is not a thing. There is always a reason as to why you’re feeling sad; you just have to discover it.

Sadness should not bring you embarrassment; it happens for a reason. Your job is to find out the reason and learn from it. If you suppress your sadness, do you think it’ll go away? Maybe only temporarily. Suppression means that you are consciously moving a negative emotion or thought into your unconscious mind. This prevents you from experiencing the negative emotion or thought. But oftentimes, it comes back out at a later date, causing you to feel sad again.

White woman feeling sad for no reason

Feeling Sad for No Reason – There is Always a Reason

Many people don’t want to learn about the reasons behind their sadness. It’s easier to suppress your thoughts or medicate yourself with substances. Many people drink alcohol, smoke cannabis or consume hard drugs to counteract their sadness. Drugs are great tools for alleviating sadness, but they only work temporarily. Once you come down from the high, the sadness resurfaces, sometimes even more powerfully. Don’t be afraid to seek the reasons behind your sadness.

When you’re feeling sad, this is a sign that something needs to change in your life. I know it’s not easy to make changes when feeling sad, but it’s worth it. Sitting there and feeling sad all day long does not accomplish anything. You need to be honest with yourself and discover the reasons behind your sadness. But also just discovering the reasons is not sufficient. You need to implement the necessary changes to avoid feeling sad again. If you’re lonely, then make the effort to be social and meet up with people. If you’re drinking too much, make the effort to cut down on the booze. There is always something that you can improve on that will prevent you from feeling sad again.

You just have to seek, implement and change.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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Falling in Love

White man and woman in love sitting on gray beanbag

Can’t Help Falling in Love

Falling in love… Why do we do it? We think the other person is an extension of ourselves, but are they really? We want to unite and feel like one, but many times with the wrong person; if that weren’t so, then why do 50% of marriages in the United States fail? And why are folks so quick to jump into relationships and run off to get married? Are you supposed to be awarded some kind of medal or something? Let’s not even get into the fact that so many couples remain in a relationship even if they know deep inside that they’re not right for each other; the fear of starting over is overpowering.

They believe that by minimizing arguments, maximizing pleasure and ignoring what they don’t like about each other, that everything will be fine. It never is fine if your partner is not the right one to begin with. Then there are the couples who aren’t in an official relationship; they are in something casual. The movies call them “friends with benefits.” These folks often do well together because it’s a “no strings attached” type of situation, until one of them becomes emotional, catches feelings and falls in love; then he or she tries to distance themselves or even starts a fight to deal with their insecurities.

Man and woman kissing under moon at night

If Anything Happens I Love You

Then there are the couples who are in an open relationship and allow each other to sleep around with other partners. I never understood this type of relationship. It’s supposed to be along the lines of, “I love you so much that I will let you sleep with others!” If that’s the situation, I don’t see how these relationships can go the distance, and I’m not referring to a couple of years, but more like a lifetime. Sleeping with different partners only promotes more interest in other people and may make you lose interest in your partner; what if you meet someone who has more chemistry than your partner? Overall, falling in love and holding onto a current relationship is easier than starting over with a new person who might be a better fit.

What is love to you? Have you experienced pain related to love? Share your experiences below.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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Feeling Insecure

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Feeling Insecure in a Relationship

Your insecurities do not manifest from outside sources. Outside forces have an impact on how you feel every single day, but it always comes down to you on how to handle the effects of outside forces. You have to learn how to clean up your insecurities before they become worse. Rather than blaming others for how you’re feeling, take action into your own hands by managing your insecurities. You can do this via different vehicles, such as through exercising, mindfulness, therapy or talking to a close friend or family member. You are the master of your mind.

Insecure woman wearing winter clothes and covering face with gloves

Why Are We Feeling Insecure?

We feel insecure because our environment is constantly influencing us via social media, television and interactions with others. We constantly analyze everything on an unconscious level and this influences our thoughts and behaviors. Those who don’t learn how to feel comfortable in their environment remain insecure. Those who analyze, adjust and make the necessary mental changes flourish; they disconnect from their insecurities. The first step is identifying your insecurities and addressing them. This step often proves to be difficult for many people because they don’t want to target their insecurities.

Targeting your insecurities takes courage. It’s much easier to ignore your flaws and difficulties and remain in the same state of mind. The problem is that by ignoring your insecurities, you hold yourself back from improving as a person. If you address your insecurities, you’ll feel much better about yourself, more confident and people will notice it. The hardest part is addressing them but once you do, it becomes easier and you’ll feel glad that you did it in the first place.

Let’s be honest, living with insecurities is painful. Every day, you’re reminded of your flaws either through relationships, interactions with other people or when by yourself. You have to live with this stabbing pain within you at all times, eating you away from the inside out. Think about it; if you’re constantly distracted by insecurities, your mind has less room to enjoy activities and pleasures that are in your life. At a deep unconscious level, no matter how much pleasure you have, you can’t experience it to the fullest because you’re distracted by your insecurities.

Find courage today to address your insecurities and live a better life in return.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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Daily Positive Affirmations

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I Am a Great Communicator

“I am a great communicator because I focus on what others have to say rather than dominating the conversation. People look up to me not because I have impressive things to say, but because I have great listening skills. People appreciate the time and attention that I give them. I talk at the right time and people pay more attention to what I say because I’m attentively listening to what they have to say. When I talk less and listen more, others are more willing to hear what I have to say, as compared to when I talk more and listen less. I am a great communicator because I use empathy in my conversations and feel the other person out. This is especially true when they are in pain and emotional turmoil. I am a great communicator and others appreciate my presence! This is one of my daily positive affirmations.”

Daily positive affirmations - Sagittal view of human brain and face

Daily Positive Affirmations – I Speak With Confidence

“Every day, even when I’m not feeling well, I make my best effort to speak with confidence. Speaking clearly and intelligently allows me to feel good about myself. People respect me because I speak with confidence even when I’m not in the best mood. My mood does not represent the way I speak, because I separate the two. When I feel low, I still speak with confidence. When I feel happy, I speak with even more confidence. Speaking with confidence is important because it improves my communication skills. People respect great communication skills because it portrays leadership. They desire a great leader who can show them the way. People want to be shown the way because they want an easier life. When I speak with confidence, I make my life and others’ lives easier.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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Experience Your Sadness

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Not Running Away From Sadness

Whenever we experience sadness, we tend to bury it right away rather than allowing it to linger. This is because nobody likes the feeling of sadness so it’s easier to just brush it under the carpet and clean it up later. The problem with doing so is that you are not processing what is making you feel sad in the first place. Even though sadness is an uncomfortable emotion, you want to fully immerse yourself in it and see what thoughts and feelings will come out of it.

For some, it’s not an easy process because they feel like their ego is being jeopardized. They believe that if they feel sad, their masculinity is being threatened. For others on the opposite end of the spectrum, they tend to spend too much time dwelling over their sadness, experiencing it all day and never letting go of it. You don’t want to be at any end of the spectrum; the happy medium is always best.

This involves experiencing sadness when it kicks in but also knowing when to turn it off when certain circumstances arise. If you’re at work, it’s better to suppress it for the time being and revisit it later on. But if you’re at home and have nothing important to do, you can try practicing mindfulness while also becoming in touch with your sadness. This will allow you to process the thoughts associated with your sadness and potentially help you recover from it.

It’s always better to process your sadness rather than leaving it unhinged. There’s almost always a reason that you are feeling sad and you need to get to the bottom of it. Don’t be afraid to reveal new thoughts and feelings which are foreign to you; this is the process of growing in life. And always remember that you are never alone in experiencing sadness; millions of people all over the world are experiencing it with you this very moment.

What are some things that you are sad about?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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You Are Free Of Emotional Pain

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Positive Affirmation: Emotional Pain

“I am free of emotional pain because I am in tune with my emotions and I am in control of them at all times. Even when people hurt me, I know how to immediately recognize negative emotions and process them effectively. I don’t allow emotional pain to hold me back in life. Emotions are like clouds that come and go; I observe and process them and allow them to float away. I am in control of how I feel today and tomorrow!”

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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Being A Great Sport

Angry white man wearing a red tank top with hands on face

Maintaining Composure During Times Of Adversity

You will encounter many situations in life where you will lose your cool and make a fool out of yourself. Let’s hope that those situations are in the past and that you can now prevent future ones from occurring. But we all know that life is very unpredictable; one minute you’re on top of the world and the next you’re fuming and steam is coming out of your ears. The key is not avoiding distressing situations as sometimes life just throws you in the middle of them without any control on your part.

But just because you lack control in certain situations does not mean that you should allow them to throw you off your game. You have to be quick to react and come up with effective solutions on the spot while maintaining proper composure. By doing this, you will avoid many awkward encounters, problems with your job and burned bridges. Anyone can act appropriate from time to time, but not anyone can be a great sport at all times.

Maintaining composure during times of adversity is not easy depending on the situation that you find yourself in. It’s so much easier to just blow up, get your anger out of the way and move on with your day. But what’s easier is not always most effective; this applies to anything in life. Oftentimes, the easier solution brings upon temporary fixes that end up crumbling when more adversity is encountered down the road.

You have to find a way to remain composed at all times, even when dealing with conflicting and uncomfortable emotions. This applies to your professional life as well as your social; the more consistent you remain in your display of emotions, the more trust people will have in you. This is all based on behavioral psychology; people are turned off by hotheads and attracted to those who are cool, calm and collected.

So the next time that you encounter a situation where you feel like you might lose your cool, take a step back and remind yourself, “This too shall pass. Just play it cool and try to make the most out of it without displaying your frustrating emotions.” The more you practice being a great sport, the easier it will become for you to handle life’s conflicts and roadblocks.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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When Patients Cry

Sad black woman crying with hand on face

We Are Human Too

Whether cancer patients, intellectually disabled patients or behavioral health patients, one thing remains in common for all of them: the deep feelings which they experience on a daily basis. The familiar uphill battle which they face every day, involving digesting their diagnosis, taking their medications and maintaining a smile on their faces, is what makes their experiences more difficult than others. And for all of those reasons, patients sometimes need to release, and that release comes in the form of tears.

Society does a great job at looking down upon crying, especially when it comes to men. Men are supposed to be masculine creatures who only display strength and leadership. And if they are caught displaying feminine traits or acts such as crying, they are looked down upon.

But crying has nothing to do with gender; it has to do with being human! We all experience emotions, pain, difficulties and even mental illness. Most of us can relate to being a patient in the hospital at one point in our lives; not necessarily a mental health patient, but anything related to being sick or injured.

We have all experienced what it feels like to be admitted to a hospital and to be thrown into a gown for several days. Now imagine the many patients who remain in the hospital for months at a time, some even for years in state psychiatric hospitals! Do you still look down upon men who cry?

Being a patient is one of the most difficult roles experienced by a person: you lose your confidence, you’re filled with worry and you place your hope onto the hands of another person. For mental health patients, not only are they in the hospital or following up as outpatients, but they have their mental struggles to deal with on a daily basis.

And even for people who aren’t patients, crying is a natural process that is very normal to experience. When we cry, we are processing our emotions and painful thoughts, and shedding them away in the form of physical tears. But when we hold ourselves back from crying, we are containing the negative emotions and pain within, worsening our overall well-being.

Whether it’s our tears dripping down our faces or our patients’, at the end of the day, we are human too.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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When All Things Go Wrong

Young blonde woman having a bad day and covering face with hands outdoors

Properly Handling Bad Days

A bad day is subjective and depends on the person who is experiencing it. What may be considered bad for one person may be minor for another; there are no universal bad days. But what is universal is the pain that one experiences. No one can deny your pain, even if they laugh in your face or behind your back.

Unfortunately, there are days when all things that can go wrong do go wrong. Many vulnerable people can lose their cool, causing their day to spiral more out of control than it already has. Their emotions may get them into trouble at work, school or even in their social circle.

Humans are extremely emotional creatures. Every action involves an emotion to a certain degree: happiness, sadness, anxiety, indifference, etc. Emotions are also very fragile depending on the experience. Some people can hold on to their emotions a little more firmly, while others more easily crack like when jumping on dissolving ice.

The proper way to handle bad days is to remain cool, calm and collected. The last thing that you want to do is to react towards a negative experience. This means that you allow your emotions to lose control based on the severity and nature of the situation. If you allow this to happen, things usually just get worse.

You need to learn how to remain more on the neutral side when all things go wrong. Try to regain lost ground by taking a step backwards, inhaling a few deep breaths and cooling down by splashing some cold water on your face. Perhaps also try some mindfulness or meaningful prayers to disconnect yourself from the environment.

The goal is to return back to a comfortable state of mind, by resetting yourself emotionally. No matter how badly your day is going, you are still healthy and alive and that is what matters the most! Don’t allow the nuisances of life to distract you from what is important. Always remain positive even when positivity feels distant!

Neutralize the ugly features of a day by being thankful, maintaining your appreciation for life and resetting yourself mentally and emotionally!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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Be Careful What You Say To Others

Graffiti of blue-haired woman suffering from karma on wall of underpass by sewage

When Karma Bites Back

We often allow life’s circumstances to influence our emotional states, sometimes resulting in our wishing bad upon others. The problem is that many people don’t have a good grasp on their emotional states, allowing life to regulate their feelings rather than the other way around. When this happens, we end up saying things we often regret later.

Karma is based on the principle that one’s intent and actions influence his or her future. By wishing bad upon others or simply saying nasty things out of anger, life ends up punishing the individual with similar actions that were wished upon the other person. Whether you believe in karma or not, it is very prevalent and many people can attest to it.

The point is not to prevent karma from affecting your life. What is more important is to be a nice person and not wish bad upon others. You have to learn how to control your emotions, no matter how frustrating some situations may be. Wishing bad things to happen onto somebody else is not just wrong, it’s immoral and evil.

If karma is real, it was probably created in order to teach us lessons on our behavior and patterns of thought. Karma provides us with life experiences which teach as well as correct us on our actions and words. Without karma, many people would continue to repeat the same destructive patterns.

Where karma comes from is something we will probably never discover. Karma may be God’s way of teaching us how to behave, or it can be a universal force that has been around since the beginning of time. One thing is for sure: many people can admit to experiencing the painful nature of karma.

At the end of the day, it is normal to experience negative emotions and frustrating situations; it’s called life. But you have to learn how to deal with these uncomfortable situations and regulate your emotions, before you say something that you’ll regret later. Don’t ruin someone else’s day just because your’s may have been ruined.

Deal with life’s situations. Properly regulate your emotions. Avoid karma and maintain peace and happiness in your surroundings.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)