Me, Myself And I

Lonely young man sitting alone on brown wooden bar stool

Why Do I Hate Being Alone?

Many people struggle being by themselves; they want companionship to fill up as much of their free time as possible. Being alone has almost become an inherent fear; like a specific phobia. But why do why hate being alone and why do we sometimes become mean with ourselves?

Social media has a lot to do with it. When we observe friends or acquaintances having a good time, we naturally want to join them; being alone becomes almost sickening. Social media trains us to want to spend time with others. But the problem is that we lose interest in spending time with ourselves.

It has become so bad that we prefer superficial relationships rather than spending time alone. We crave attention from others like an addict who craves getting high. And when we do not get our fix, in this case spending time with others, we start to hate ourselves and experience self-negativity.

The problem has become that we no longer know how to find pleasure in solitude. Rather than appreciating the fact that it was our “self” who was there for us on all those lonely nights, we start to turn against ourselves. We start to experience negative thoughts such as, “there must be something wrong with me”, “I’m a loser, only losers spend time by themselves”, “I suck at life, I’m clearly doing something wrong.”

All this negative self-chatter only makes us more miserable and attracts more negativity into our lives. Rather than searching for companionship, we need to embrace our presence and enjoy solitude. The key to attracting positive people into our lives is becoming positive with ourselves on a consistent basis.

Being positive with ourselves on a consistent basis is not that hard to do, but many people struggle with it because they allow outside forces to influence their thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Outside forces will always have a play at hand, but they should never be great enough to prevent you from living a positive life!

So stop putting yourself down and start enjoying your presence. Don’t worry about always spending time with others. It’s better to find quality people to spend time with, even if that means hanging out less frequently. In the meantime, focus on improving yourself and enjoying your own company!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Enjoy Your Own Company

Photo of blonde woman smiling and happy with herself

Crying From Time To Time

It is very important to learn to be comfortable spending a lot of time by yourself. Many people complain of loneliness or boredom when by themselves. These are normal reactions, but if you are always feeling lonely or bored by yourself, then you may have a bigger problem at hand.

Consistently feeling lonely or bored by yourself means that you are not finding pleasure in your own company. There are many reasons for this: insecurity, attention-seeking, impatience, ineffective time management or lack of self-control. If you do not learn to enjoy your own company, you will always rely on someone else to provide you with happiness.

One advantage to enjoying your own company is that it enhances your experience when you are with others. If you can have fun when you are alone, imagine how much fun you can have when you are around others! And after you are done spending time with others, you will go back to enjoying spending time with yourself!

But if you rely on others to have fun, then you will return back to loneliness and boredom when by yourself. The most important point is that you come first! You must be content with your presence. People can tell when you love yourself, but they can also tell when you are not comfortable by yourself; you reek of desperation and attention.

Another important point to mention is to never be ashamed to cry when you are by yourself! Crying from time to time can actually be very beneficial for your mental health:

  • It helps relieve stress
  • It helps dissolve emotions that you have been holding on too
  • It helps relieve pressure tied to worries and concerns
  • It helps you become more in tune with yourself
  • It humbles you by helping dissolve your ego when it inflates too much

For women, crying may not be an issue. But for men, society has trained us to believe that crying is a sign of weakness. It is quite the opposite. Weakness is when you do not have the courage to become in tune with yourself and dissolve emotions which are impacting your relationships and mental health.

You are not weak by enjoying your own company and crying from time to time! But you are weak when you constantly need to be around others and are ashamed or too proud to cry from time to time.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)