When Someone Tells You “That’s A Fairytale”

Woman standing on grass field during sunrise

Not Caring About What Others Say

It could be your own supervisor, friend or even family member who discounts your story, offer, statement or opinion by saying, “that’s a fairytale.” It really doesn’t matter how close you are to someone; people will still find a way to negate what you have to say. It’s human nature.

With experience, you will learn to just ignore people’s negativity and lack of belief in your way of being. What is important is how you handle these situations. Are you going to succumb to their negativity or stand your ground and keep moving forward? The latter is the correct answer.

It hurts when people don’t have faith in you, but what can you do? It’s their right to believe what they want. It especially hurts when it comes from someone who you had more expectations from. This just goes to show you that you never really know how people are thinking about you!

But the important thing is to adopt a mature and confident state of mind and keep moving forward; do not care about what others say or think about you. Always focus on bettering yourself and surrounding yourself with positive people who believe in you, and want to help you!

Do not ever allow someone to put you down or to kill your dreams. This doesn’t mean that you should become involved in arguments or even fights; this only leads to trouble and a big waste of time. The reality is that you cannot control what people think or say about you, but you can control how you react towards them!

Maintain your beliefs and dreams and tune out the noise. Nothing is a fairytale if you believe it with all your heart!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Listen More And Talk Less

Female psychiatric patient in gown laying on hospital bed

Vibing With Psychiatric Patients

Many times, we attempt to help our patients by talking about everything that comes to our mind in regards to their treatment plan. We’ll talk about medications, symptoms, groups they attend, appetite and sleep and their future plans. But over time, this can become very redundant and taxing on the patients.

Patients want more than just a psychiatrist who asks them similar questions, day in and day out. After a while, your patients will start to tune you out and just answer your questions out of respect, but not out of interest. Our goal should be to keep their interest level alive!

This is where listening more and talking less comes in beautifully. We must work on maintaining a flow to the conversation during our individual sessions, and this flow must go back and forth like a playground seesaw. When this occurs, the conversation becomes much more pleasant and easier to carry out.

You see, patients have a lot to reveal to their psychiatrist if you just give them time to flow; it just requires more listening on your part. But when you interrupt them with endless questions and challenge their delusions without giving them a chance to explain themselves, you are essentially burning away your therapeutic alliance.

Patients don’t want a robot as their psychiatrist. They want a human being who is willing to carefully listen about where they are coming from. They want to know that you are listening to their words without making them feel rushed or pressured. In a way, they just want you to vibe with them.

If you can tap into this vibing state of mind with a psychiatric patient, you will start to feel like you and the patient are on the same wavelength. This is the best feeling during individual sessions, because it makes the patient extremely relaxed and comfortable, allowing them to divulge more information about their symptoms.

Sometimes you just have to listen more to patients!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Stand Behind What You Believe In

People in conference debating and arguing

Standing Your Ground

There are many people who will disagree with your opinions, views or beliefs. Many of these people are very wise, witty, sophisticated, educated and full of wise words. It sometimes seems like their attempt at persuading you to adopt a different point of view, has an empowering effect over your mind.

But don’t fall for this trap. If you truly believe in something, then stand by what you believe in! You don’t have to enter into any arguments; present your case in a mature, calm and effective manner. Actually, the best arguments are presented in a cool and collective manner.

The reason you don’t want to fall into their trap is because it takes away from your ability to come up with your own conclusions. This is called manipulation: the act of changing your opinions, beliefs or behaviors based on what someone else is saying or doing to you. Don’t fall for manipulation.

Now on the other hand, someone may disagree with your opinions or beliefs in a way that is not manipulative. Everyone has the right to believe in what they want! But be careful here: you don’t want to believe in what they say just because they present their argument more impressively than yours.

Don’t fall for the glamour. After an impressive argument is presented, if you still believe that yours is more valid, then by all means, stick by your argument. Sometimes, certain people have a wonderful way of presenting an argument that makes you question yours. Don’t fall for this trap either.

But there are many cases in which someone else’s argument makes more sense than yours! If this is the case, then take a step back to consider their argument and go from there. But what you don’t want to do is to ignore their argument out of stubbornness, pride or ego.

When you ignore someone else’s argument that is more valid than yours, you are doing yourself a disservice. You are allowing your ego to get in the way. Whenever your ego gets in the way, relationships start to get sour. Never be too proud to admit a better point brought up by another person!

Stand by your beliefs but be flexible and open to change!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Different Personalities

Mean blonde woman holding knife and fork at a marble table

Everyone Is Different

If you expect the people around you to behave and respond in a way that you always prefer, then you will never find peace and comfort within. You will run into many different people in life, some ripe and some rotten. It’s not about controlling those around you, but controlling yourself and learning how to deal with your surroundings in a healthy way.

Some people are just uncomfortable to be around with: they may be verbally aggressive, manipulative, give off bad vibes or simply make you feel uncomfortable. If you try to battle through your interactions with these types of people, it’s almost guaranteed that you will feel miserable.

You want to arrive at a place where you are being yourself, but while also knowing how to effectively interact with difficult people. This means that you should want to learn how they function and what buttons to avoid pushing. This strategy is for protecting yourself and making your relationships easier to handle.

But you don’t want to be fake or adopt a different character. You want to make it on their good side, while still being yourself and upholding your opinions, values and beliefs. Just because someone is naturally more stern and uncomfortable to be around with, does not mean that you have to make a “wardrobe character change.”

Emotional intelligence is the ability to successfully interact with different personalities that life puts into your presence. Those who are emotionally intelligent experience many trials and errors: something that works with one person may not work with another, and on and on until success is achieved.

Trial and error provides you with experience and knowledge on how to deal with different human beings. But the most important point is to always be yourself! After all, what’s the point of making it on someone’s good side at the expense of your true self? At best, you’ll feel superficially comfortable and internally miserable.

Just be yourself.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Waking Up Early

Grayscale photo of motivated person's face after waking up early

Sacrificing Sleep Versus Staying Tucked In

If work demands that you be there early in the morning, then you have no choice but to crawl yourself out of bed and start another long day. But if you have the luxury of starting work a little later, should you wake up earlier and get something done or sleep in until the last minute?

It comes down to personality, motivation and drive. By waking up 1 hour earlier than you have to, you can accomplish quite a bit:

. . . and the list goes on. 1 full hour in the morning is a nice chunk of time to accomplish whatever is on your mind. However, the problem with going down this road is that fatigue adds up if you don’t replace those lost hours of sleep some other time; that’s at least 5 hours of missed sleep per week or 20 hours per month!

Or you can wake up on time and just roll on out of bed and head straight to school or work. This option is much easier because you are maximizing your sleep. But for some, the idea of implementing this option is unbearable, because of the lack of time to accomplish just a little more.

Many successful people either go to bed early in order to wake up early, or just don’t sleep that much period. They have learned to function on less hours of sleep. They value those extra hours in a day which they can utilize to improve on something. Again, it comes down to personality, motivation and drive!

Only you can decide what is best for you! No one can make that decision for you. But one important thing to keep in mind is rigidity; do not be rigid! If you start becoming too tired, then listen to your mind and body and go back to a full night’s rest. It won’t help you to be consistently tired while trying to accomplish something extra in your free time; the two don’t mix together very well.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Don’t Chase Money, Chase The Dream

Black woman with an afro holding two bitcoins on her eyes

Be Your Dream

Chasing money is like a dog chasing its tail; you’ll never get anywhere except back to square one with a funny look on your face. You may see dips and highs but these events will only keep you chasing, like a rollercoaster than never comes to an end. Chasing only brings temporary results; not long-term valuable ones.

That’s because the concept of chasing doesn’t apply to making money. The more you chase it, the deeper you fall into a never-ending spiral of trying to make money. Money is not actually made though; it’s transferred from one person to another. The only money that is actually made is controlled by the governments of the world.

You cannot make money; you can only earn it and lose it. And to earn money requires a realistic and applicable plan; this part is not so hard. There are many plans which you can apply and achieve a lot of money. But the hard part is the mindset: implementing a smart and effective state of mind that will help you attract money without chasing it.

The mindset is simple in words but difficult in application: chase the dream! The dream you’d like to achieve is what will ultimately bring you money. Start living life how you envision it in your mind; breath it, think it and believe it! Live with a purpose and apply great passion in whatever you do!

When you start enjoying life and living up to your dream, then that is when money will start to flow into your life. With this mentality, you are not actually chasing money at all; money is chasing you! Money is rewarding you for your successful and attractive mindset.

All of this may seem to good to be true, but it works if applied with an honest intent over the course of many years. Anyone can work hard and make a decent salary! But to make it to the next level requires tweaking and optimizing your state of mind. There are no shortcuts, and doing it in an illegal or evil manner defeats the purpose of living an honest and successful life.

Be your dream.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

America’s Playground: Hooked On Drugs

Drug addict holding cash and cigarette in hand

Welcome To The Candy Shop

Many chronic mentally ill patients who have been discharged from the hospital continue to abuse synthetic marijuana, known as K2 or Spice. It is readily available at bodegas, online or through the hands of drug dealers. There is no apparent good reason given by psychiatric patients for their usage of K2, besides its cheap price tag.

But countless times, whether sunny or rainy out, you can witness the flashing siren lights of a speeding ambulance rushing towards the hospital. You know right away: another K2 medical emergency. Many of these patients admit that they are addicted to the substance.

K2 is just synthetic marijuana: THC synthesized in the laboratory and mixed with other chemical compounds. Its users don’t care what chemicals make up K2; as long as it gets them high and gets them high quick! Many of these users will sit outside all day and just pass K2 joints in circles.

It’s a tragedy to see poor people waste their brain cells on this synthetic drug. Many even end up in the ICU on a ventilator and come out to light up again a week later. With vaping, K2, bath salts, “smart drugs” and other synthetic but legal drugs flooding the market, there is no knowing where this drug culture will take us next.

The two main drug epidemics engulfing the United States are heroin and methamphetamine: heroin on the east coast and meth on the west coast. East of the Mississippi, white powder heroin is more prevalent; west of the Mississippi, black tar heroin is more prevalent.

The meth capital of the United States is Fresno, California, with the addiction expanding eastward. But in-between, we have all these minor epidemics which include vaping, K2, alcohol, tobacco and stimulants. Stimulants are definitely on the rise! And yes, alcohol and tobacco are epidemics!

What we have here is America’s playground:

  • Legal deadly killers: alcohol and tobacco
  • Illegal deadly killers: heroin and methamphetamine
  • Legal stingers: K2, vaping and bath salts
  • Illegal stingers: cocaine and other stimulants

Marijuana is not mentioned in the list above because it’s not really a killer. But psychologically, the potential for addiction is great and is still considered a gateway drug by many. And no concrete evidence exists to demonstrate that opioid usage has gone down in states that have legalized marijuana.

This is America’s playground. It’s better to sit this one out, would you agree?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Woman of domestic violence with printed "love shouldn't hurt" words on back

Upholding Respect For Women

Domestic violence affects both men and women; it sees no boundaries. But as you can imagine, it affects more women however. The act of abusing anyone, but in particular your partner, is outright immoral and degrading of character. This month, we intend to unite and stand against domestic violence in all parts of the world.

Domestic violence roots itself from psychological conflicts: a sense of control, narcissism, lack of empathy, insecurity, etc. Many men who abuse women feel entitled and take out their anger onto them; they view women as the weaker object who they can displace their frustrations upon.

Many battered women remain with their aggressive boyfriends or husbands out of fear of speaking out. They believe that if they do, their partners will batter them even harder. Some women believe that by “obeying” their partners, their brutality will lessen. This usually is never the case.

Domestic violence awareness month is not an outlet to put down men and promote a feministic movement. Men are not better than women and vice verse. This movement should be about uniting women to stand against men who psychologically and physically abuse them.

Keep in mind that men who abuse women are suffering from a character pathology (personality disorders) or a mental illness. They should not be looked down upon as savages who should be shot dead. All humans were created equal but mental illness does not equally affect all humans!

Therefore, domestic violence awareness month should also keep in mind the role that mental illness and character pathology have to play in human relations. Keep in mind as well, that many women who are victims are also dependent on their partners; they cannot or at least refuse to survive by themselves.

Domestic violence and mental illness have no boundaries. We are all victims to some extent. Our role should be to unite and to stand up for each other!

Together we can. Together we will. Together we are DSM!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Celebrating The Wrong Things In Life

Person's hand on gray skull

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi Death

We wake up to turn on the news and hear the death of the founder of the ISIS caliphate. A rush of excitement jolts through our emotional center, leaving us ecstatic like “hell yeah!” But why? What is so exciting about the death of another human being who suffered from hatred and mental illness?

We become excited at the wrong things. The same thing happened during president Obama’s term when Osama Bin Laden’s death was announced. We should not be celebrating the deaths of individuals throughout history, no matter their level of evilness. That is what judgment day is for when our Lord Jesus Christ returns.

The news media has one job and that is to deliver the biggest cracking news that’s available. But we have one job as well: to spread love and joy and build an international community based on honesty and moral values. Celebrating the death of a killer does not fit The DSM Ready Movement agenda.

Let’s celebrate new discoveries and developments in the field of medicine and psychiatry; treatments that will help alleviate our suffering and help us to live unitedly happy. Let’s celebrate when we hear that another person has stepped out of the shadows to talk about their mental illness!

Let’s celebrate that we have generous human beings who donate to charities and help children and animals around the world to have food and shelter. What is more important than living a good and honest life and believing in God? We must come together and help all the needy and those suffering from mental illness; selfishness is not part of The DSM Ready Movement agenda.

Let’s celebrate life. Not death.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Evil Thoughts

Human skulls and skeletons on ground

Living With Evil Thoughts

We all experience evil thoughts; some more than others. Evil means profoundly immoral and wicked. What is evil for someone may not necessarily be evil for someone else. But in general, there are many evil thoughts that are universally agreed upon as being immoral.

The reality is that you cannot escape evil thoughts; they are here to stay. That’s because there is no way to control what thoughts pop into your mind. But there is a way to control how you deal with evil thoughts! If you find yourself struggling with evil thoughts, then you have not found the right way to deal with them.

There is no secret to properly dealing with evil thoughts; you won’t find a magical way of putting an end to them. You can meditate all you want but even that won’t take them away. But there is one way that will help you control them: just letting them be and not reacting to them.

You may ask, “how?! They are just so damn powerful and disturbing!” You are definitely right about that! Evil thoughts make you want to bang your head against the wall. But guess what happens when you give in? They just keep coming back, trying to make you go crazy.

The best way to deal with evil thoughts is to not react to them; allow them to pop into your head and just be. Don’t even try to ignore them; ignoring is a reaction! Just let them be and don’t care about them. You will find that the less you react to evil thoughts, the easier it becomes to live your life in peace.

And the evil thoughts will start to not matter anymore; they won’t bother you any longer. Evil thoughts have a life of their own but so do you! By not reacting to them, you allow them to live in the background while you are focusing on your life! Consider them parasitic; so be it. But you are not affected by this parasite!

You are in charge of your mind!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)