Even Lovers Need A Holiday

Couple holding hands on top of hill above clouds

Give Space Where Space Is Due

Whether in a casual, short-term or long-term relationship, giving space to your significant other is very important. Being clingy and always available can actually turn off your partner; it signals weakness and desperation. These traits can become apparent at any point in a relationship; no one is 100% immune.

Giving space to your significant other means what it sounds like: allow them to breath and live their life without your constant input and presence. Giving space helps build lost attraction and intensifies your relationship when the two of you do come together. When you sense yourself becoming desperate, remind yourself that this may be a form of anxiety.

Desperation may be a form of anxiety because you unconsciously worry that you might lose your lover. Therefore, you become clingy: you text them all the time; you breath down their throat; you always want to do things together; you lose interest in other activities. When this happens, you are setting yourself up for failure; a major buzzkill and blow to your ego.

Giving others space is a basic human concept that should be applied to everyone, not just lovers. The absence of presence builds curiosity, interest and passion way more than if you’re around them all of the time. Allow life to naturally bring people to you; don’t force things to happen when your intuition is telling you otherwise.

It sometimes feels like your mind and intuition are opposing forces and you’re stuck in the middle; you often fall for what your mind tells you. For instance, your mind may tell you to text a person you’re interested in, while your intuition is screaming “hold your horses, don’t do that!” When you ignore your intuition, that is when negative results begin to pile up.

If you got as far as being in a casual, short-term or long-term relationship, then put your anxiety aside and keep doing what you’re doing; there is no need for clinginess, desperation and unattractive behavior. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot because you have been closer to your prize than ever before. Maintain the attractive qualities of independence, confidence and honesty and you will be in good shape!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sexless Relationships

Man and woman in a sexless relationship riding bikes together

When Sex Is Not The Agenda

A lot of great relationships are not based on sexual intercourse. Rapport, connection and emotions are much more powerful and consistent ways of understanding another human being; they provide comfort and a desire to learn more about the other person.

If you find yourself looking for sex all of the time, then you are missing out on the beauty of relationships; many go astray based on sexual energy alone. Excluding sexual intercourse from a relationship relieves much pressure on both parties: the female feels more at ease and the male learns to appreciate the beauty of emotional connection.

Sexless relationships allow connections to organically flourish; there is no longer any pressure on how physical interactions will play out. The energy is redirected into understanding the other person, storytelling, laughing and a general sense of well-being.

The beautiful thing is that relationships can evolve much more naturally without the pressure of sex. Time is in your favor because you no longer worry about how long it will take to develop sexual chemistry; you just let things naturally flow. Intimacy is no longer the agenda; passion, love and chemistry have trumped the former.

Sexless relationships depend on who you are interacting with. But the idea can be applied to any person you meet, because the most important thing in any relationship is establishing rapport based on common interests. If you can do this, then you will have no problem maintaining fruitful and healthy relationships!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sociopaths In Relationships

Sociopathic man with painted face

Sociopathic Behavior

A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder that manifests itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience. Sociopaths can seem very charming during the initial encounters, but overtime, their inner demons become unleashed.

The traits of a sociopath:

  • Superficial charm
  • Manipulation and conning
  • Pathological lying
  • Grandiose sense of self
  • Shallow emotions
  • Incapacity for love
  • Lack of remorse or guilt
  • Criminality
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior
  • Impulsive nature
  • Need for stimulation

A relationship cannot be maintained with a sociopath because everything is about them; you are just for entertainment. They often attempt to dominate and humiliate you when you have done nothing wrong. They believe that they are entitled to every wish and will consistently lie to the point of being able to pass a lie detector test with flying colors!

Sociopaths are filled with rage and view another person as a target or opportunity for manipulation and gain. Your presence feeds their ego, but their presence destroys your sense of well-being. They are also very promiscuous and partake in gambling; their need for stimulation is on fire.

They have no concern for their impact on others and have no sense of personal boundaries; they alternate rage with small expressions of love which is part of their manipulative act. And they will never blame themselves and take responsibility; others are at fault!

A sociopath is not a person to even consider being a friend with; get out of their life as soon as your intuition rings a bell!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Keep Your Circle Small

A close group of friends involving two men and two women

Less is More

Take a look at all the stars in the sky; this is the amount of superficial relationships that exist in this day in age. People come and go as they please; millennials call it “ghosting.” Who you can trust and rely on is not clear anymore; trial and error has sadly become the norm.

If you ever sense any hesitation or your intuition gives you a funny feeling about a certain person, then it’s time to reconsider your relationship with them; don’t waste any more of your precious time, because life is too short to keep beating around the bush.

Find a few friends who you can build a trustworthy and healthy relationship with and work it from there. Less is more! The potency of a few valuable friendships is undeniably greater than a large group of superficial friends who do not have your best interest at heart.

A tight trustworthy circle of friends will keep you happy, satisfied, safe and emotionally healthy; they will be there for you at your worst times. They will not allow you to fail and will have your back when life gives you lemons.

The DSM Ready Movement is about establishing trustworthy and loving friendships!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Is Sex Overrated?

Blonde woman and man in a relationship getting ready to have sex

Sex Is Not The Glue

The beautiful act of sex always comes to mind but is sex something we should always get excited about? Sex and relationships can get fuzzy at times depending on the characters involved. Always take a step back and analyze your current situation; putting your emotions aside will allow you to see past the love sac.

Great Sex | Great Relationship

This is the couple who have great sex and a wonderful relationship. For them, everything is almost perfect; their love life has high ratings and their relationship is prospering. The sex for this couple probably does not get old if mixed up properly; they probably know what they’re doing.

Great Sex | Terrible Relationship

Then there is the couple who have great sex but hate their guts. They almost cannot stand each other and get on their nerves very easily. They remain together out of desperation, frustration, insecurity, lack of resources and you guessed it, great sex! But for this couple, the sex won’t keep them in bondage for long. I mean really! How many times can you have sex and expect a dying relationship to prosper?

Bad Sex | Great Relationship

This is the couple who love each other, get along 99% of the time and are best friends. But the sex is not compatible; he is either lame in the sac or she has too much experience for him, making him appear lame, or vice versa. Whatever the reason, they do not match in bed. Fortunately for this couple, if the relationship is truely genuine, the sex can improve over time with consistent effort from both parties. Bad sex is not the reason a great relationship fails, and if it is, then one person in the relationship had hidden intentions all along.

Bad Sex | Bad Relationship

Well, should we even address this one? Not only do they hate their presence, but the sex takes more effort than running a half marathon. These relationships do not last longer than 24-48 hours.

So as you can see, there are many scenarios in which sex either enhances a relationship, complicates it or completely destroys it. At the end of the day, no matter how good the sex is, it is not the glue of bondage in a relationship. Emotional connection, caring and love still prevail and help a relationship go the distance. Sex is just icing on the cake.

Focus on improving your relationship and then work on enhancing the sex.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Weed Out Your Friendships

Friends walking in front of water fountain around palm trees

Look Beyond The Mask

Who are your true friends? We often think that we may have made exciting new friends, but there is always a true character behind the mask. A true friend will offer to take his or her mask off within days of meeting you; they know that you are trustworthy and goodhearted.

But can you say the same about them? We often fall victim of false friendships out of insecurity and desperation. Sometimes we just want to fit in; other times we are blindfolded and cannot tell the difference between friend and foe. And then we wonder why pain has made its way into our lives again.

That is why you must develop an eye for weeding out your friendships. Allow your intuition to guide you in the process; if there are more negative feelings related to a person, they are a foe. If there are more positive feelings related to a person, they are a friend. But even then, always be wary because “friends can be your worst enemy”; after all, they know you best.

Becoming paranoid on who is your friend or foe is not the direction you should take. Paranoia will only isolate you and you will end up with none. But be smart, sharp and wise! Learn from your past relationships, analyze why they ended or why they lasted. Do not let history repeat itself in a negative fashion; your heart does not deserve the pain from people who do not have your best interest.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Don’t Be Afraid To Walk Away

A courageous man holding a camera walking on a train track during winter

Courage Is The First Step In Finding Change

Friends come and go. Relationships come and go. But often times, we get stuck in a toxic relationship that no longer serves us any good. Relationships and friendships are hard to come by, so we tend to hold on to them with dear life, in order to avoid loneliness. But little do we know, that by holding on to these relationships prevents us from growing. We must learn to listen to our intuition; our gut feeling which tells us if a person is right or wrong for us. Society these days has dulled our intuition; there is so much emphasis on the mind, leaving us to forget that our intuition was created to protect us.

Walking away takes courage, but you must take the initiative if you want new opportunities in life. New people who are motivated, successful, passionate and loving will help take your life to the next level. Old people who make fun of you, emotionally or physically abuse you and degrade you will keep you at a low and depressing level. The key to walking away is not caring if you lose that person from your life. Stop answering their phone calls, stop hanging out with them, stop enabling them to mistreat you! Be respectful to yourself and surround yourself with fruitful people who will make you shine and taste success and love.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

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