Manipulative Minds At Work

Manipulative man holding scarf on his neck

An Apology Without Change Is Just Manipulation

The act of manipulation is one of man’s oldest tricks in the book to achieving control and power over others. Lying, deceit, twisting of words, charm and changes in behavior are just some of the actions portrayed by manipulative artists; their ego is their master. Their intention is to gain at the expense of your loss.

It is important to be able to recognize manipulative behavior and learn how to properly deal with people who employ these sneaky and potentially harmful tactics. As the puppet master pulls the strings to control his or her subject, so do manipulative people with their victims. Their goal is to take advantage of a situation or achieve satisfaction which cannot otherwise be obtained without artful and unfair means.

Even when you confront a manipulative person, they may not admit to their behavior. They may attempt to continue manipulating by adopting a defensive or innocent role with the intent of making you feel awkward or shallow for bringing up the subject. It is important to not back down from your stance; once you confront the manipulation brought upon by another person, continue to address their behavior in a calm and cooperative manner.

Some manipulative people may become apologetic with the intent of covering their compromised behavior. But an apology without change is further manipulation! Apologies are just empty words when not backed by clear and effective change. Do not give a manipulative person the benefit of the doubt; actions always speak louder than words!

Lastly, never become emotionally disgruntled when dealing with a manipulative person; doing so hands them power and control over you. Be the mature role model who stands tall and is not budged by deceitful and cowardly behavior. Being a leader helps implement positive change in those around you and this is how goodness spreads in the world!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

What Others Think Of You Is None Of Your Business

Woman worrying about what other people think of her

Why Do I Care So Much About What Others Think?

As humans, we are fascinated with sharing our feelings, emotions, thoughts, opinions and beliefs with others; so much so, that we start to wonder what others think about us. Someone may quiver, raise their eyebrows, whisper in someone else’s ear, smile or laugh and we start to suspect that they are thinking something negative about us.

When you become preoccupied with what another person thinks about you, you will be robbed of your energy and peace of mind. The desire to be liked by everyone is human nature, but you are supposed to reach a level of maturity where you realize that it is an unrealistic desire; every person has the right to their opinion.

Seeking to be liked by as many people as possible will make you miserable and depressed when you come to the realization that it will never happen. There are so many reasons why a person may not like you and to find out why is a great waste of time.

Even if your coworker does not like you, does it really matter? You are there to excel at your job, be professional, do your best and be cordial. If you do not adopt a state of mind that is carefree in regards to what others think of you, you will start ruminating about others way too much.

Ruminating about others will start to interfere with your work, free time, relationships and mental health. You might become irritable, sad, annoyed, bitter and even socially isolated. Your life will slowly start to crumble if you do not change your mindset!

The solution is to not care about what others think of you. Just be yourself and live life as you desire, as long as you are not affecting others adversely. Life is your playground and you have the free will to think, act, behave and feel as you wish! Show the world who you really are without caring of others’ opinions!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Family Is Everything

Parents and children walking on campground

Unconditional Love

Life works in unpredictable ways; one moment you are spending time laughing with your friends and the other you are staring out of a psychiatric unit window wondering what you did wrong in life. Having a supportive family by your side can help bring you back to a comfortable place mentally.

Your family knows you best; they were there for you during your childhood, and for some, even provided you with a roof above your head during your adulthood. Bonding with your family helps remind you of all the good memories from the past; this results in an overall feeling of well-being.

Behavioral problems can decrease when you receive family support. For instance, a very agitated patient who is involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric unit improves dramatically in her behavior after her parents visit her for 30 minutes. This is because parents provide a comforting touch that no psychiatrist or clinician can provide; they know which buttons to push and which emotions to trigger for the better.

A family provides you with self-confidence. They teach you the ways of the world and how to deal with good and bad situations. It is wise to learn from your family because some of them have been around longer than you have; time provides experience and wisdom!

Interactions with your family provides an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Your family knows a lot about how you think and through their responses in conversations, you can come to the realization of any negative thought process you hold. A family provides you the opportunity to take an inward look at yourself and fix any issues or faults which you previously had not observed.

They can help you become a better person by teaching morals and values which you did not previously pick up as a child. A strong family core can help keep you grounded in life and prevent you from drifting in the wrong directions. One of your greatest gifts is your family, so love them with all your might and be thankful for their presence!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sexless Relationships

Man and woman in a sexless relationship riding bikes together

When Sex Is Not The Agenda

A lot of great relationships are not based on sexual intercourse. Rapport, connection and emotions are much more powerful and consistent ways of understanding another human being; they provide comfort and a desire to learn more about the other person.

If you find yourself looking for sex all of the time, then you are missing out on the beauty of relationships; many go astray based on sexual energy alone. Excluding sexual intercourse from a relationship relieves much pressure on both parties: the female feels more at ease and the male learns to appreciate the beauty of emotional connection.

Sexless relationships allow connections to organically flourish; there is no longer any pressure on how physical interactions will play out. The energy is redirected into understanding the other person, storytelling, laughing and a general sense of well-being.

The beautiful thing is that relationships can evolve much more naturally without the pressure of sex. Time is in your favor because you no longer worry about how long it will take to develop sexual chemistry; you just let things naturally flow. Intimacy is no longer the agenda; passion, love and chemistry have trumped the former.

Sexless relationships depend on who you are interacting with. But the idea can be applied to any person you meet, because the most important thing in any relationship is establishing rapport based on common interests. If you can do this, then you will have no problem maintaining fruitful and healthy relationships!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Sociopaths In Relationships

Sociopathic man with painted face

Sociopathic Behavior

A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder that manifests itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience. Sociopaths can seem very charming during the initial encounters, but overtime, their inner demons become unleashed.

The traits of a sociopath:

  • Superficial charm
  • Manipulation and conning
  • Pathological lying
  • Grandiose sense of self
  • Shallow emotions
  • Incapacity for love
  • Lack of remorse or guilt
  • Criminality
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior
  • Impulsive nature
  • Need for stimulation

A relationship cannot be maintained with a sociopath because everything is about them; you are just for entertainment. They often attempt to dominate and humiliate you when you have done nothing wrong. They believe that they are entitled to every wish and will consistently lie to the point of being able to pass a lie detector test with flying colors!

Sociopaths are filled with rage and view another person as a target or opportunity for manipulation and gain. Your presence feeds their ego, but their presence destroys your sense of well-being. They are also very promiscuous and partake in gambling; their need for stimulation is on fire.

They have no concern for their impact on others and have no sense of personal boundaries; they alternate rage with small expressions of love which is part of their manipulative act. And they will never blame themselves and take responsibility; others are at fault!

A sociopath is not a person to even consider being a friend with; get out of their life as soon as your intuition rings a bell!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Flexibility With New Relationships

Three woman working together at table demonstrating flexibility and emotional intelligence

The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence

Meeting new people is part of life; whether you like it or not, it will happen. New people will repeatedly be introduced into your life and you will have to learn to become flexible in your interactions with them. Flexibility is the ability to change so as to adapt to different circumstances.

Flexibility does not come very easily for many people; old patterns and ways of thinking are sometimes difficult to break. Some people will push your buttons and you will have to know how to adjust; maintaining old patterns can be counterproductive and even destructive.

Being flexible is a form of emotional intelligence; it demonstrates that you are able to adopt a leadership role and serve others in time of need. Emotional intelligence and excellent communication are vital for you to improve your status, relationships and to form new connections!

Do not view flexibility as a negative requirement; take it as an opportunity for self-growth and adjustment. The more opportunities you have at becoming flexible, the more pattern recognition you will experience, and this will help you manage difficult situations with more ease. But most importantly, always stay true to yourself no matter how flexible you become!

The DSM Ready Movement is about helping us improve our relationships, adopting flexibility and working together to elevate each other to higher states of mind!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Dealing With Annoying Individuals

Grayscale photography of annoying person wearing clown mask

Annoying People At Work

The last thing you want to do is to react towards annoying individuals; this will give them power and reassurance that their behavior is getting to you. Annoying people are insecure by default; they strive on irritating others by projecting their insecurities away from themselves.

If there is no way that you can cut an annoying person out of your life (i.e., you have to work with them) then the best way to deal with this relationship is to tolerate their behavior without reacting in a negative manner; show them through your body language that you disapprove their behavior.

When you consistently do not react to their behavior, annoying people will grow inpatient because they will quickly realize that you are resistant to their provocations and pesky behavior. Instead, remain cool, calm and collected and let their behavior brush against your skin like a slight breeze in the background.

Learning to effectively deal with annoying people will teach you discipline, maturity and professionalism; composure is key to eliminating weak individuals from your life and attracting positive successful ones. Your goal is to remain happy and not allow others to pester you into anger and self-destruction.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Making Connections Is Vital

Group of authentic people huddling and making connections

Keep It Authentic

Whether you are young, old, rich or poor, do not isolate yourself and think that you have the world at your fingertips; itโ€™s a fantasy. No matter how talented or successful you are, isolation will eat you alive; first will come the insecurity and anxiety, followed by the inevitable depression. A lone wolf mentality does not last.

Emotional intelligence involves having self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, assertiveness, empathy and social skills; the ability to make connections. Strong friendships, family relationships and other connections are key to developing excellent mental health.

Whether you are a student, lawyer or NBA baller, the benefits from making prosperous connections are enormous:

  • New friendships that will bring you happiness and love
  • A boost in confidence (being able to handle multiple connections will increase your sense of value)
  • Improved social skills (the more you interact with different types of people, the more diversity you expose yourself too)
  • Gaining new knowledge and insight (people come from many different walks of life; there is always something new you can learn)
  • Helps keep depression away (depression strives best when we are lonely and vulnerable; keep the depression door shut and open the social doors that will bring you happiness and prosperity)

Lastly, do not take advantage of your connections; your selfishness will not go unnoticed forever. Be authentic and strive to learn and build with your connections; sharing is caring!

The DSM Ready Movement is about building an international community focused on bringing people together to achieve a happier and healthier state of mind! ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

The Beauty Of Your Parents

Parents sitting on pavement looking at body of water

Love Your Parents Forever

They were there at your birth. They were there during your childhood, adolescence and adulthood. For those who can relate, parents are the most beautiful people in our life. They sometimes know us better than we know ourselves; despite our stubbornness, they continue to love us and stand by our side! And sometimes they show us tough love because they want to see us succeed and surpass their success.

Maintaining a relationship with your parents as you age is very important; they now need your help as you once needed theirs. But helping them should not be viewed as a chore; do it with passion and love! It’s a blessing that your parents are still in your life.

It is true that relationships can grow apart as people age and this is no different with your parents. But you have to work at maintaining a relationship with them, being open-minded to understanding their viewpoints and ways; after all, they have been around longer than us!

Do not become angry with your parents; love is all they have wanted for you since you were born. Learn to redirect your anger in the gym or jog it off outside in nature. Loving your parents will make you feel better about yourself, will maintain a therapeutic relationship and will help them live longer!

Do not neglect your parents! When they ask you to spend some time with them, do it! They probably are feeling lonely and miss you; work at maintaining a strong bond with them and keep them close in your life. They are very precious!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

People Will Be Jealous

Jealous person's face

When Human Nature Interferes

There is no way to avoid it; jealously is part of human nature for some and you must expect that they will be in tune with their feelings toward you. They do not have to give you a reason for why they envy you; you can read it on their guilty face and continue smiling.

Whatever your achievements or advantages are, stand proud and strong by them. Do not let others’ jealousy make you self-conscious; this is a personality issue from their part and not from yours. Your goal is to maintain your composure and carry on.

Do not try to confront their jealousy; it will just make things awkward and make you look weak. You will lose your prestige if you confront another person’s jealously. Learn to accept their envy; it means you are doing something right!

What you should never do is become jealous of others! If you find yourself dealing with a person who demonstrates an advantage over you, be appreciative and learn from them! You will gain more by being honest and trying to learn from someone else rather than becoming jealous of them and feeling insecure inside.

The DSM Ready Movement does not promote jealously of others. We are a community built on people from all levels, including rich, poor, successful, happy, depressed or content. We are here to learn from each other, build relationships and help one another elevate to a higher level of consciousness!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)