Being A Superficial Person

Superficial and elegant woman dressed in fancy clothes staring at building outdoors

Attracted To Materialism

The proverb, “one should not judge a book by its cover” is very true when it comes to analyzing others’ behaviors, expressions and thought processes. There are many superficial people who enjoy materialism but have a heart of gold! On the other hand, there are many superficial people who couldn’t care less about others’ thoughts and feelings.

Society has trained us to be quick to jump to a judgment or stereotype based on how someone dresses, speaks, behaves or carries themself. This is because all of the characters who we can think of are represented fairly accurately in Hollywood films and music videos.

By observing these characters on television or in lyrics, we are being trained to judge others; it has almost become an automatic process. So when we see “superficial” people behaving like Kim Kardashian or the Jersey Shore crew, we are quick to jump to a conclusion: “superficial.”

But this approach to viewing people is wrong and only contributes to the divide which our world is experiencing. Just because someone appears superficial on the surface, does not mean that they are not caring and loving individuals on the inside. Who are you to judge a person who you do not even know?

In the bible it says, “You hypocrite! First, remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.” We are so quick to jump to conclusions about others’ behaviors, that we forget to look at ourselves first and fix what we do wrong.

There is nothing wrong with someone who is attracted to materialism, as long as they are not allowing that attraction to influence their inner being in a negative way. It is actually worse for us to sit around and point our fingers at a superficial person, than it is for the person to be superficial in the first place.

At least that person is being themself by admitting to their superficiality. But what are we, by judging other human beings’ ways of living? It doesn’t make us any better! Rather than spending so much energy judging others, we need to come together and learn from each other, superficial or not.

The DSM Ready Movement is about the integration of all people with a good heart and solid intentions.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Thanksgiving Should Be Every Day

Group of young people hugging each other

Happy Thanksgiving

It’s very lovely that people gather once a year to offer their expressions of gratitude towards their family, friends, coworkers and God. This brings upon us unification, love, happiness and a feeling of warmth, which can effectively heal a mental illness and its associated emotions. But what would be nicer to observe from now on, is the celebration of Thanksgiving on a daily basis!

Unfortunately, many people put on a mask during the holidays in order to fit in with the rest of society celebrating times of unity. These masks are not hard to detect; pay attention to their body language and choice of words before the holidays, during and after. You will notice many inconsistencies, easily giving away their public facade.

People put on masks during the holidays because they are dealing with internal pain and insecurities, which they have not learned how to overcome. By not overcoming their internal problems, the holidays actually make them feel worse. How would you feel if you were put in a position to smile and chit-chat with folks who you see twice a year, while you are feeling depressed inside?

So the solution is to increase the frequency of Thanksgiving; not twice a year or every month, but every single day of the year! Every day should be an opportunity for us to learn more about each other and how we can be more involved in each other’s lives. Every day we need to become more passionate in our interactions with others.

It’s easier said than done, but definitely applicable on a large scale if many people around the world start applying this way of living! With every person who you pass this message to, someone new around the world can be touched and moved by it. What is missing from our world today, is genuine unity among the masses.

We are more divided than ever and no particular person or group is to blame. The reality is that our human nature has not evolved much beyond selfishness. And in order to alter our human nature, it starts with as many people around the world applying the notion of Thanksgiving being every day.

It’s possible to change our course of reality, but it cannot be done with 10, 100 or 10,000 people here and there. This calls for a worldwide implementation of acceptance and unity on a grand scale; a platform based on unconditional love extending to all parts of the world; a new modern-day hippie movement!

And together we can!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Questioning Your Sexuality

Multicolored striped painted homosexual surface

When Your Mind Plays Tricks On You

Most people who are homosexual state that they knew from a young age of their sexual preference; a young age meaning childhood or early adolescence. Some people also claim that their failed heterosexual relationships, have caused them to identify more strongly with the same sex. Whatever the reason, many people can attest to the fact that at some point in their lives, they have questioned their sexual orientation.

Questioning your sexuality can happen for many reasons. One reason is simple curiosity: “how would it feel to experience a sexual encounter with the same sex?” There are many people who end up experiencing a homosexual experience, even though they don’t identify as homosexuals.

This can occur in people who are hyper-sexual to begin with. It may be sparked by a bad heterosexual experience, a lack of a recent heterosexual experience or simple curiosity for the same sex. These people don’t usually turn to homosexuality from there on; it’s called sexual experimentation.

Then there are people who have had too many negative sexual encounters with people of the opposite sex; this can occur with women and men. Out of frustration and desperation, they turn to the same sex as a source of potential comfort and emotional healing. If it turns out to be a positive experience, some of them remain homosexual or begin to identify as bisexual.

There are also people who had or currently suffer from OCD and experience a train of persistent homosexual thoughts. These people are not homosexual, but their illness keeps repeating the same thoughts over and over, making them question their sexual orientation. The solution is to just allow the thoughts to be, knowing within that they are heterosexuals.

As you can see, sexual orientation is influenced by the environment and mental illness. While genetics may be at play, it is not fully known whether homosexuals have inherited genes or not. What is for sure from many people who are homosexual, is that they had these feelings towards the same sex from a young age.

At the end of the day, just be yourself.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Best Black Friday Deals

Young brunette woman hugging Siberian Husky near bed of purple flowers outdoors

Being With The Ones You Love

Here is an example of a day which we mentally and emotionally flock to, hoping to score the best deals on materialism. While there is nothing wrong with enjoying materialism, it’s important to understand that it will not bring you potent happiness that can last you a lifetime. The potent happiness that will last you a lifetime is obtained by being around your loved ones.

When we seek materialism, we are searching for a source of happiness that comes outside of us. The difference between this outside source of happiness and others, is that the concept of materialism is similar to a drug: the more you have it, the more you want it. It all has to do with the pleasure center in our brain called the Nucleus Accumbens.

The pleasure center is responsible for rewarding us with dopamine, a feel-good chemical messenger released when we perform pleasurable activities. In this case, directing our attention and energy on scoring the best Black Friday deals, revs up our dopamine neurons which reward us with pleasure and good feelings.

The best deal that you can receive on Black Friday is the presence of your loved ones. Nothing compares to having your spouse, parents, children, family members and pets around you for a nice long weekend! It’s family that brings you love, peace and happiness. When you replace materialism with family, then that’s when you know that you have lost touch with the values of life.

We often search for more in our lives because we have a very deadly habit of taking things for granted. When we take things for granted, we no longer appreciate them as much as we once did. Our attention becomes directed to other things in life, such as drugs, alcohol, materialism and lust.

When we take things for granted, we often lose them sometime down the road, tormenting us and inflicting mental and even somatic pain for years to come. We then heavily turn to drugs, alcohol or lust to alleviate our pain, and the process repeats itself until we end up in a psychiatric hospital or rehab.

The best Black Friday deal is right before your eyes: your family, friends and pets! And you have already received the greatest blessing from God: life itself.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Don’t Agree With Everything You Hear

Silhouette of proud woman holding her first in the air

Questioning Your Supervisors

You will find yourself in many situations that will require you to work under a supervisor or leader of some sort. Regardless of your status in life, these authority figures may be present at your work, church, country club or even in your social circle. While you are not tied to any individual, many of these scenarios will involve you giving them the upper hand, consciously or unconsciously.

Many times, you will hear advise, opinions or recommendations with which you will disagree with. The people who always do as they are told without questioning back, are the same people who have not developed a voice and end up feeling insecure, angry or even sad. We are not meant to follow orders like robots; we should always have a say!

But this is not to say that you should be putting yourself in situations that will get you into trouble, fired from your work or even make you feel socially awkward. Going overboard is also not good, as this can cause you to feel the same emotions as listed above. You have to learn how to be neutral, but still stand your ground by questioning the things that you hear!

One may argue that this way of being is rebellious and will only make you look like a fool. If you are one of these people, then you probably lack the courage to be a leader yourself! Leaders don’t blindly take orders when they disagree with something that they hear. It is mentally and emotionally healthy to question something that you disagree with!

By questioning some of the things that you hear, this helps you become more confident in yourself and adopt a stance of leadership and dignity. It’s actually fun to play devil’s advocate from time to time; it provides you with an air of freedom and confidence! But if you just conform and agree with everything that your supervisors tell you, you will always feel beneath others.

Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and shine! This is your life; your time to grow and develop yourself as a person, human being and spiritual entity!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Be Careful What You Say To Others

Graffiti of blue-haired woman suffering from karma on wall of underpass by sewage

When Karma Bites Back

We often allow life’s circumstances to influence our emotional states, sometimes resulting in our wishing bad upon others. The problem is that many people don’t have a good grasp on their emotional states, allowing life to regulate their feelings rather than the other way around. When this happens, we end up saying things we often regret later.

Karma is based on the principle that one’s intent and actions influence his or her future. By wishing bad upon others or simply saying nasty things out of anger, life ends up punishing the individual with similar actions that were wished upon the other person. Whether you believe in karma or not, it is very prevalent and many people can attest to it.

The point is not to prevent karma from affecting your life. What is more important is to be a nice person and not wish bad upon others. You have to learn how to control your emotions, no matter how frustrating some situations may be. Wishing bad things to happen onto somebody else is not just wrong, it’s immoral and evil.

If karma is real, it was probably created in order to teach us lessons on our behavior and patterns of thought. Karma provides us with life experiences which teach as well as correct us on our actions and words. Without karma, many people would continue to repeat the same destructive patterns.

Where karma comes from is something we will probably never discover. Karma may be God’s way of teaching us how to behave, or it can be a universal force that has been around since the beginning of time. One thing is for sure: many people can admit to experiencing the painful nature of karma.

At the end of the day, it is normal to experience negative emotions and frustrating situations; it’s called life. But you have to learn how to deal with these uncomfortable situations and regulate your emotions, before you say something that you’ll regret later. Don’t ruin someone else’s day just because your’s may have been ruined.

Deal with life’s situations. Properly regulate your emotions. Avoid karma and maintain peace and happiness in your surroundings.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

World Kindness Day 2019

Hand holding red and white "practice kindness" sticker

Putting Hatred Aside

If only every day were world kindness day, then this world would be a better place! The act of kindness is far from many peoples’ hearts. The act of being friendly, considerate and generous is not widely innate. Many people have their hearts filled with hatred. But today is different: today we have our hearts filled with love!

This day represents the idea of how important it is to be kind and friendly with those around you. Even if it’s people who you don’t know, just the act of being polite, respectful and doing something nice for someone speaks volumes. Actions have always spoken louder than words since the beginning of time.

It’s not so much the words that you speak, but the actions that you perform. By touching one person with kindness, you may end up saving that one particular person’s life! Everyone is going through a battle: some are depressed, anxious, angry, annoyed, brainwashed, psychotic, intoxicated, etc.

You never know who you can touch with your kindness! Whoever that person is that you touch, may go on to touch another person with kindness, eliciting a chain reaction! This is how kindness and world peace spread, from the coasts of Australia, to the mountains of Pakistan, to the pubs of Ireland and the marijuana shops of Venice Beach!

Don’t pay attention to the hatred portrayed on the media, in other peoples’ lives or in your surroundings. Just because someone does something hideous towards you, does not mean that you should retaliate. Do not lower yourself to their level. Keep your level rising and elevated than it previously was in your past!

The DSM Ready Movement has no boundaries: we welcome all races and nations aboard!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Gathering Of Friends

Three white men sitting on white concrete bollards in front of tropical water

Cherishing The Good Times Together

As one enters high school, the goal of making a lot of friends and becoming popular sometimes supersedes education. Many of these friendships that are established in high school are either shallow or not for the long run. But as one ages, the amount of friends made becomes less important; it’s the quality that matters.

Finding a few friends who share your interests and treat you with respect is much more valuable, than finding many friends but who talk behind your back or don’t care that much about you. It seems like common sense, but it’s not applied by many people, especially during the younger years.

Once you find a few friends who have your back, work on developing your relationships by learning more about who they are. There is always something new that we can learn about someone. As a matter of fact, there is always something new that we can learn about ourselves, allowing others to learn more about us!

Many people complain, “I have friends, but they’re not exactly how I’d like them to be.” There is no such thing as a perfect friend! Everyone will have flaws, weaknesses and personality traits that might come off as annoying from time to time, but that shouldn’t stop you from being friends with them!

Unless you have friends who put you down and don’t really have your back, then stop complaining. Instead of wishing for better friends, be appreciative of who God has put into your life at the present moment. Work on improving your friendships while improving yourself as well!

Cherish the good times you do have with your current friends and enjoy their presence. Make yourself a good presence as well so they can partake in the good times. What matters the most is that you and your friends get along, have things in common and are healthy!

Don’t get stuck on the small details. The bigger picture at play is what usually matters most.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

People Will Let You Down

Naked backstabbing man holding big knife

Being Thrown Under The Bus

Trust is very difficult to come by in this day and age. People have their own agenda, ways of being and motives behind their actions. Even if you think someone is close to you, they may not be in actuality. As simple as this subject matter sounds, it is being addressed being we are still becoming disappointed when things go astray.

But as long as things are not going astray because of your actions, then you have nothing to be disappointed about! You have to understand that there are very few people who you can trust with your life and count on to not throw you under the bus. And they are very hard to come by.

People will throw you under the bus for various reasons:

  • They want to save their own behind
  • They have many insecurities and want to take it out on you
  • They feel peer pressured from others to do so
  • They’ve changed their minds about you
  • They’ve never really liked you to begin with
  • They’ve discovered a new opportunity at the expense of your relationship with them

. . . and the list endlessly goes on. You could literally not be at fault and still have someone backstab you for no good reason. But how you handle these types of situations is key to progressing forward with dignity and professionalism. If you negatively react, then you are shifting the power into their hands.

The best course of action to take when somebody lets you down, is to maintain your composure and act like nothing has happened, not matter how grave the situation. You can imagine how difficult this may be for many people! But the reason why you should take this approach, is because it prevents you from falling down when repeatedly attacked by others.

Fill others with shame by not showing them that you are affected by their betrayal! In the bible, it teaches us to love our enemies for a reason: because when we have the holy spirit, it guides us into living a more purified life that makes us feel good and which others can model after.

So when someone throws you under the bus, smile back at them and carry on! This will drive them crazy and will make you feel empowered and beautiful inside.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

When Someone Tells You “That’s A Fairytale”

Woman standing on grass field during sunrise

Not Caring About What Others Say

It could be your own supervisor, friend or even family member who discounts your story, offer, statement or opinion by saying, “that’s a fairytale.” It really doesn’t matter how close you are to someone; people will still find a way to negate what you have to say. It’s human nature.

With experience, you will learn to just ignore people’s negativity and lack of belief in your way of being. What is important is how you handle these situations. Are you going to succumb to their negativity or stand your ground and keep moving forward? The latter is the correct answer.

It hurts when people don’t have faith in you, but what can you do? It’s their right to believe what they want. It especially hurts when it comes from someone who you had more expectations from. This just goes to show you that you never really know how people are thinking about you!

But the important thing is to adopt a mature and confident state of mind and keep moving forward; do not care about what others say or think about you. Always focus on bettering yourself and surrounding yourself with positive people who believe in you, and want to help you!

Do not ever allow someone to put you down or to kill your dreams. This doesn’t mean that you should become involved in arguments or even fights; this only leads to trouble and a big waste of time. The reality is that you cannot control what people think or say about you, but you can control how you react towards them!

Maintain your beliefs and dreams and tune out the noise. Nothing is a fairytale if you believe it with all your heart!

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)