Don’t Settle For An Unbalanced, Unreliable, Untrustworthy Relationship  — Thought Catalog

Don’t settle for an unbalanced relationship where you’re always doing the bulk of the work. Where you’re running around, trying to get chores done and plan dates and come up with conversation topics. Where you’re in charge of every single aspect that makes the relationship run smoothly. Where you’re loaded down with stress. You need…

Don’t Settle For An Unbalanced, Unreliable, Untrustworthy Relationship  — Thought Catalog

Moving On From Lovestruck

Two people in love on beach during sunset

Love Island

We’ve all experienced situations when we meet someone who we really like, only to have it end sooner than we desired or expected. Experiencing lovestruck can happen at any age; you never know when a certain person will push your buttons and unexpectedly activate you. But when certain buttons are pushed, they can provide you with one of the best feelings in the world; however, moving on from lovestruck is important for your mental health.

The worst days are the immediate ones right after the person who you really liked is no longer in your life. The thought of being alone once again quickly touches down in the center of your mind, eliciting a punching bag of emotions, including tears. The connection you had formed with the other person on love island is no longer at play.

But you cannot continue living on love island if the other person is now gone; it’s not mentally healthy. You have to be thankful that God placed that person in your life for whatever amount of time, and happily move on. It’s tough at first because you dearly miss them, but you have to treat yourself with respect, and suffering from lovestruck is not fair to yourself.

The way that you move on from lovestruck is to remain optimistic that you will meet a new person in the future. You don’t have to forget about the previous person. As a matter of fact, cherish the memories that the two of you built together, but don’t dwell on them all day, every day. Be thankful that you met them and grateful for the experience, but move on into the future.

Love is probably one of the most powerful emotions known to man, especially when you share it with someone who you easily click with, and develop a natural connection from the moment that you lay eyes on each other. But love works in unpredictable ways; as quickly as it comes into your life, just as quickly that it can vanish from it.

But don’t be sad! The most important thing is that you are happy that you had another taste of love island. But you cannot always live on love island forever. Sometimes you have to get back on your boat and return to sailing the deep blue sea.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

What Sucks About Being Single (Even When You’re Cool With It)  — Thought Catalog

The thing that sucks the most about being single is the societal belief that you’re better off in a relationship. That you must be miserable if you’re alone. That you could not possibly be happy unless you’re in a committed relationship that is headed somewhere serious. Even when you’re cool with your single status, it’s…

What Sucks About Being Single (Even When You’re Cool With It)  — Thought Catalog

Appreciate The Time Spent With Loved Ones

Couple in love sitting and facing the city at sunset

Crazy, Stupid Love

Nothing compares to the quality time spent with loved ones, especially when it’s spontaneous and unexpected. Appreciating the presence of your loved ones is very important, because you never know when they may go away. One minute you’re planning something for the next weekend, and the next you find out that they are moving to another state. Enjoy and appreciate every moment spent together!

When you take the time spent with your loved ones for granted, you’ll feel much worse when unexpected scenarios play out in the future. One of the worst feelings is experiencing disappointment in relation to a person or event that you took for granted. Not only does it feel like you’re dying from 1000 paper cuts, but you feel ashamed and embarrassed about your foolishness.

Whenever you feel like you’re taking people or events for granted, remind yourself to snap out of that mentality. If you don’t, it’ll become automatic and you won’t catch yourself doing it in the future. You want to appreciate every single moment that you spend with your loved ones, even if you feel like repetition is at play.

The thing about “crazy, stupid love” is that we can’t understand it; it’s like a pot full of unknown ingredients being stirred inside of us, not knowing what is causing us to feel so connected to our loved ones. Perhaps love truly has no definition; it’s just a set of powerful emotions that drive us in circles with no clear destination in sight.

Whether it’s crazy, stupid or both, love should never be taken for granted; it’s not worth the pain that follows when a loss presents itself. Even if you do not take love for granted, you’ll most likely still experience a loss with accompanied pain in the future; it’s inevitable. But at least you’ll know in your heart that you fully enjoyed and appreciated your time with your loved ones, while they were still present.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

I’m Slowly Learning Effort Will Make Or Break A Relationship — Thought Catalog

In the early stages of a relationship, you don’t want to be stuck doing all the work. You don’t want to be the only one initiating texts. The only one planning dates. The only one getting dressed up. The only one who seems to give a shit. But that doesn’t end once you’re in a…

I’m Slowly Learning Effort Will Make Or Break A Relationship — Thought Catalog

Modern-Day Communication

Young man with beard texting in library

Overanalyzing Conversations

The good old days which relied on in-person communication or even telephones were probably less stressful than modern-day communication. While there are many advantages to modern-day communication, there are also many pitfalls, leading us to overanalyze conversations and coming up with unnecessary and even false conclusions.

Modern-day communication involves texting, emailing, talking on the phone or on social media and even dating apps. While technology has made it tremendously easier to communicate with each other, the downfall to that is the stress that comes with this easiness.

When too much access is available for communication, we tend to overanalyze people’s intentions and motives. If someone doesn’t answer a text message, a million thoughts start racing through our minds, “OMG, maybe I shouldn’t have said that!”, “Maybe I messed things up again!”, “Why is he ignoring me?”

Many times, the other person is not ignoring you but either simply forgot to answer or just had nothing good to say back. This is the problem with texting: it leads us to form new opinions and perceptions on others based on how the conversations in the texts are going. This usually doesn’t happen to this extreme with in-person communication or even other means of communicating.

How about dating apps! A conversation may be going smoothly and all of a sudden, the other person stops responding to your innocent message. We again start to overanalyze if we should have said what we said, making us feel insecure, lousy and even sad. And all we did was message them, “Are you free this weekend?”

And should we even mention social media? The problem with this outlet of communication, besides that the companies are stealing our data and creating psychological profiles based on how we navigate the internet, is that there’s a lot of superficiality. We make friends on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram who we do not even talk to in real life.

How can this possibly be healthy? Sure, it helps when you are lonely, but it seems like it’s just a bandaid and not a true fix. The best way to utilize modern-day communication is to reap its benefits without taking it seriously; don’t sit around analyzing why this and that happened.

Enjoy the benefits of modern-day communication without becoming emotionally and mentally invested.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

The Honest Truth About The People Who Drive You Completely Insane — Thought Catalog

In life, we come across many people who embody everything we do not want to be. Given that most people are generally predisposed to be kind and considerate, the time at which we cross paths with the people who drive us insane is often tainted by a circumstance that brings out the worst in them.…

The Honest Truth About The People Who Drive You Completely Insane — Thought Catalog

Sex On The First Date

Man and woman in love kissing under the sun

Unexpected Nights

The first date is always the most unpredictable. A few hours before the event, your mind starts bombarding you with many questions such as, “Am I even attracted to her?”, “Is he even my type?”, “Will this be painfully awkward?” You may even have a drink or two prior to the date just to relax yourself. But one of the most unexpected twists and turns is when you end up having sex on the first date.

These unexpected nights can happen and you should always be prepared for them. This is because you never know how well the first date may turn out. A woman should never be deemed slutty or highly sexual just because she puts out during the first date. It could also mean that she’s just really into you and comfortable with the idea of doing it on the first date.

Every situation is different, but sex on the first date tends to happen after a strong rapport has been established, preferably over dinner and drinks. Showing your date that you put in some meaningful thought behind the venue and that you’re not uncomfortable spending over $70 dollars, will most likely impress her.

But the venue and the amount that you spend are not enough. The most important factor is the rapport. If you can establish a comfortable frame while she is listening to you with glowing dilated pupils, smiles and fluid conversations, then you can rest assured that you have captured her interest.

Towards the end of your date, you pitch your offer, “What do you want to do? You’re free to come over my place or I can take you home.” You do this in a nonchalant fashion, demonstrating to her that you’ve had a good time and that whatever decision she makes is fine with you. If she smiles and says, “I’m down to hang out with you more,” then the party continues.

When you arrive at your place or her’s, anything can go down, including sex on the first date. It comes down to avoiding awkwardness, demonstrating confidence and leadership and having fun! But just because a girl wants to have sex on the first date does not mean that you should take advantage, by disrespecting her afterwards or looking down on her.

Always be respectful to everyone, regardless of the dynamics of the situation. At the end of the day, just have fun and be yourself.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Valentine's Day

White woman holding red heart pillow in front of red door

Loving Humanity As A Whole

The best part of Valentine’s day is showing care and love to your significant other: surprising them with delicious milky chocolates and colorful flowers while taking them out for a nice dinner. But don’t forget that Valentine’s day can also be applied by loving humanity as a whole; not leaving any pieces behind.

When we focus beyond our ourselves and those around us, we spread more positive energy and love into the world; a rippling effect, reaching many who are unhappily hidden in the confines of their home due to depression, anxiety or substance use. Use your arrows to inflict love upon the world, not just on those around you.

The beauty about loving humanity as a whole despite the cruelty that flourishes, is that we are spreading the right message in the process. This message is called unconditional love or “love without conditions.” We should be willing to spread love and happiness without expecting anything in return.

When we think and act in this way, it spreads a message to others that maybe they should do the same, ideally, setting into motion a chain reaction. It doesn’t matter that we all come from different backgrounds, are different races or hold completely different beliefs; it’s our intentions that matter. If God didn’t love humanity, it would have all ceased to exist with The Great Flood.

But we’re still here. Think about that for a second! It’s because God is about love and we should be too. So how do we spread love on Valentine’s day without coming off as strange, bizarre or weird? You do it with your heart and mind: you act nicely to others, wish well upon them and pray for the world to improve.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)