Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Face of Dr. Martin Luther King

Beloved Community

Today is a special day because it reminds us what one man of color envisioned for our society: empowered individuals, stronger communities, bridged barriers, effective solutions to social problems and a beloved community, regardless of race, ethnicity or religion. This is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

These types of holidays serve as a reminder of the importance of putting racism aside and working together to improve our relationships. Racism is just a concept based on power and hate. It goes all ways; it’s not just white against black. In actuality, power and hate have nothing to do with skin color.

Hatred towards the color of one’s skin is just a tool that was created by powerful people in control of our society. They named this tool racism and implemented it in order to gain an upper hand over those deemed inferior, based on skin color alone. This ideology gained so much traction and popularity throughout history, that it has remained with us till this day.

While racism is not what it once used to be, it probably is just as bad underneath the surface. With the coming of President Trump into power, we’ve actually seen more racism reach the surface, but it existed all along even before he came into power; the president just breathed life into it.

And this is not his fault. We cannot blame one person for racism. Racism was and probably always will be. But this does not mean that we cannot hope and work towards a better future where racism will one day disappear. In actuality, this is exactly what we should be doing.

Continuing to ignore racism will not improve the situation. The way the situation will be improved is by diving within your heart and expunging the hatred and darkness that lie in there. We all have a lot of hatred and darkness and it should be our goal every single day to erase some of it.

Do you have your mind on your heart? If the answer is no, then it’s time to start making a change. This is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Why Forgiveness is So Important? — Human Performance Psychology

Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. — E.H. Chapin Why should anyone forgive? There is no single reason, but this much is clear: harboring anger and resentment is physically, mentally, relationally and spiritually unhealthy. People who are unable to […]

Why Forgiveness is So Important? — Human Performance Psychology

Courageous Parenting

Father in white shirt carrying blonde boy on shoulders

Willing To Provide Growth

The importance of proper parenting cannot be stressed enough. There are so many children with mental health issues due to terrible parenting. It’s so easy to believe that children who have mental health issues must have done something wrong in their lives. But the majority never did anything wrong: it was improper parenting that worsened their mental health. Courageous parenting is what is needed.

But courageous parenting is not that easy for many people, because of the difficulty required in consistently providing morals, direction, growth and warmth to children. Many parents are also “victims” of unplanned pregnancies; if “victim” is even the right word. Their irresponsibility led to the birth of a child for whom they do not show much interest in raising.

When children are raised around parents who are not affectionate or have their own mental health problems, they can become isolated, anxious, socially awkward or even direct their anger onto themselves. When a child directs his or her anger onto themselves, it often manifests into depression. Remember that in children, depression often manifests as irritability.

Then there are parents of children with autism spectrum disorder who do not know how to deal with them, because of the behavior manifested by their illness. Children with autism are often socially distant, exhibit ritualistic behavior and have trouble connecting with others. Parents who are irresponsible will often ignore these symptoms and not provide them with the professional care that they require.

And then there are the parents who suffer from a substance use disorder. How many of you have watched videos online or heard stories of children being passed a joint from their parent? This is not that uncommon, believe it or not. There are also children who steal their parent’s marijuana in the house and start smoking it themselves. And that’s because the marijuana is just sitting there!

Courageous parenting requires putting yourself second and your child first. This means that education, morals and values, safety and guidance need to be constantly provided, in order for a child to reach his or her full potential. Courageous parenting is going beyond what is expected, and hoping and believing that your child will happily succeed in life.

It’s not that easy to be a great parent, but it’s very easy to be an awful one! The children of this world depend on us to provide them with excellent parenting skills, as well as growth, direction and love. If we can improve our parenting skills, then we will improve the next generation of children who will one day make the important decisions for our society.

Courageous parenting is an important step in making this world a better place for the present generations, and all the future ones to follow.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Putting Effort Into Your Relationship Means Putting Effort Into Yourself — Thought Catalog

Putting effort into your relationship means more than planning dates. It means more than sending the first text. It means more than checking in with your person to make sure they’re doing okay. Putting effort into your relationship also means making sure your own mental health is okay. It means putting effort into taking care…

Putting Effort Into Your Relationship Means Putting Effort Into Yourself — Thought Catalog

Fear Of Intimacy

Brunette woman experiencing fear of intimacy by lying in bed covered by white blanket

Trouble Committing To Close Relationships

Not everyone desires a close relationship. Many relationships that have the potential to go the distance fall short of reaching any meaningful significance, because someone backs out and sabotages it. The fear of intimacy is exactly what it sounds like: the trouble to commit to a close relationship because of a certain mental discomfort associated with the idea.

Many people who experience a fear of intimacy have a low self-esteem, or confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. As soon as they sense another person forming some sort of attachment, they back away by either ghosting or respectfully informing them of their lack of desire for more.

Others who experience a fear of intimacy have trust issues. They may have been in one too many unstable or failed relationships where they were cheated on or abused, and thus have trouble trusting any new person who comes their way. They fear more pain and have adopted a defense mechanism that prevents them from forming close relationships.

Some people experience episodes of anger when intimacy arises. The closeness of the relationship somehow influences their unconscious mind in some way: maybe they were abused by their parents growing up. All the anger they have built up from their abuse as a child, when all they wanted was to feel close and loved, they take it out on their current partner. And so they fear intimacy in order to avoid feeling angry.

Some women actively avoid physical contact. They might have had a bad experience with men in the past, so as soon as they sense a man becoming intimate, they back away and disappear. Some women may just not be ready for physical contact or are confused by their sexual orientation.

It’s not surprising to learn that many people have trouble forming or committing to a close relationship. They have either been single their entire lives and are just used to having their own ways, or they simply do not know how to become intimate. Maybe they want to become intimate so badly, that it actually backfires and turns off the other person. And some people are actually diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder or avoidant personality disorder, preventing them from developing intimate relationships.

Believe it or not, some people are unable to share feelings or express their emotions. They either feel uncomfortable doing so, or just don’t know how to bring them out in a natural way. This leaves the other person wondering, “does he even feel anything? He seems so robotic!” And the relationship ends before any chance of intimacy develops.

Lastly, some folks have an insatiable sexual desire: they crave sex and cannot get enough of it. But when their partner wants more than sex, they become turned off, because they do not feel the desire for intimacy, due to their high sex drive. So again, they either ghost the person or the person gives up on their intimate quest and just succumbs to a sexual relationship.

If you have a fear of intimacy, please feel free to share with The DSM Ready Community.

(And as always, feel free to check out DSM Gear for some cool accessories)

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Stop Judging Others

Bald man with gray beard arguing and shouting with someone on the phone

Putting All Religious Differences Aside

There is so much negative energy in the world based on religious and cultural differences. Rather than humanity being whole as Jesus’s heart, we have become divided like Satan’s heart. This is because we rather judge others rather than love them and be understanding of their ways. Putting all religious differences aside, we need to stop judging others and start working with each other.

Christians criticize muslims for not believing that Jesus is the Son of God, and muslims criticize christians for reading the bible which has been corrupted by man. And others criticize jews because they took away the land of the Palestinian people. And don’t forget the Hindus who practice polytheism.

Do you see how many differences there are and we haven’t even touched upon all religious beliefs? All these differences, in addition to the many different cultures, is dividing rather than uniting us. This is exactly what Jesus did not want humans to do. Jesus did not only come to Earth to help those already in good hands, but to also help the tax collectors and thieves who were lost.

The same concept applies here: we cannot continue to divide ourselves based on religion, skin color and cultural differences. If our hearts had an unconscious side to it like our minds, it would probably be fair to say that it’s filled with a great deal of hate. And this is because we are allowing our minds to separate us, by polluting our hearts in the process.

Even if you feel very strongly about your religion, at the end of the day, you’re a human being! Don’t allow the information that you read in a book separate you from groups of other practicing faiths, just because they don’t share the information that is in your book. Look at the person in front of you: how you treat them matters!

We can all continue to hate each other and argue about which religion is more accurate, or we can use that negative energy and flip it around so that we can love each other and learn more about our differences. You see, society is going to continue to make progress in technological and medical advancements, improving our options for communication and treatments for physical and mental health disorders.

But what good does that do for us, if we cannot even get a basic concept right: to love each human being despite the differences that we carry! Some may argue that it’s not possible when there are 7.7 billion people currently living on planet Earth. But it is possible if we spread these kinds of messages to others, and find room in our hearts to change our ways, so that we can love each other!

Stop judging others. It’s a difficult process because you’ve been doing it your entire life, but start today by telling yourself, “I want to love everyone, even though we may carry many differences.”

Meditate on that.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

It's Not You, It's Me

Three men sitting on brick stairs outdoors

I’m Just Stuck In My Own World

Many people would agree that they wish they could just have the will and power to step out of their comfort zones in certain situations. But for whatever reason, they cannot and just can’t seem to figure out why. “It’s not you, it’s me” is something we have all heard people say to one another, and there is some truth to this saying.

Everyone develops a certain impression of you based on what you say and how you act. Sometimes you’ve never even spoken a word to a certain person, but you wish you just had the courage to do so. That certain person wonders why you guys still haven’t talked yet, quickly forming an opinion of you that is most likely inaccurate.

The truth is that many times we are just stuck in our own world and do not know how to coast out of it. If you just so happen to not be part of “my world”, then you will most likely not have anything to do with it. There are so many occasions where we desire certain people to be part of our world, but we just don’t know how to reach out to them.

It’s like an invisible fence is separating and preventing us from crossing paths. And if we happen to cross paths, something goes wrong within a few days to a week and we become separated again, as if we had never met. Is there an invisible force that controls human interactions and decides who is meant to meet who?

And if there is, how do we get in contact with this invisible force in order to express our wishes and desires? Is this force God? The solution besides praying for better outcomes is to continue living your life in abundance, by counting your blessings and maintaining a positive state of mind.

You have to learn to accept your current situation, even if your current situation has been replayed into your reality more times than you can imagine. That’s why it helps to be consistently strong and to remain positive. Currently in the United States, there is an epidemic of youth suicide and we do not even know why this is happening.

Many people can relate to the “it’s not you, it’s me” comment. What are your reasons for why you identify with this saying?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Helping Those Around You

Black African children washing dishes outside

Planting The Seeds Of Knowledge

The garden becomes more beautiful as more people become blessed with the opportunity of knowledge. Helping those around you is about sharing the knowledge that you accumulate on a daily basis, in order to help humanity elevate and bring upon the missing peace. This is planting the seeds of knowledge.

You should want to help others! Anyone with a heart can do it, you just have to put yourself into it. Many people do not have a heart for those around them, because they keep it for themselves or their immediate family members. But helping others is going beyond your family and reaching those with less fortunate opportunities.

But it’s important to remember that helping is not always about the less fortunate, but even the most fortunate who are wealthy and living the life. It doesn’t matter how rich one is; when you help, you leave all doors open. Anyone is free to join the fun and learn more about how life works! We can all learn from each other about how life works.

Your challenge should be to see how consistent you can be with spreading knowledge on a weekly basis, with eventual improvement to the daily spread of knowledge. If you happen to go through a day concluding that you haven’t helped one single person, then you can start keeping record and continue to aim for improvement.

Planting is not as easy as some of you may have thought! To tend a garden requires the start of a garden and without the gardener up to par, the seeds won’t spread to far. This calls for unity: let us all come together and happily join each other on a beautiful platform based on honesty and trust.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Feeling Feminine

Woman holding tall yellow grass during sunset

Being In Touch With Your Feminine Side

There is nothing wrong with feeling feminine. Just as many women feel masculine at times, the same applies with men feeling feminine. It’s not known why this happens in the first place. It could be related to environmental factors, genetics or simply your personality. But being in touch with your feminine side is not a bad thing. There are actually positives to it.

Feeling feminine helps complement your masculinity. Many men make silly mistakes based on their masculine traits, such as developing a temper towards women, losing their cool when things don’t go their way and often thinking too much with their Johnson. By adding a touch of femininity into your life, many mistakes can easily be avoided.

Another advantage to feeling feminine is that you can more easily relate with women and gay men. Conversations can easily be initiated and continued without awkwardness and unnecessary thinking. Not all gay men are feminine, but the many that are can really appreciate a breath of fresh air from straight men.

Feeling feminine can also help you appreciate what women feel like on a daily basis. Understanding the opposite sex can be very beneficial in relationships and marriages, and understanding gender dynamics in general. Many men go crazy when women do the things that they do, pulling out whatever hair they have left and yelling, “I can’t take her anymore! She’s psycho!”

Use your femininity to your advantage; embrace it, don’t shy away from it. If anything, it gives you a better understanding of how both genders interact, based on their thoughts, emotions, decisions and behaviors. Tapping into your feminine side can make you more emotionally intelligent, helping to guide your relationships in the right direction.

Got femininity?

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Don't Be Afraid To Move On

Man holding bags and running beside building on sidewalk

Everyone Has A Different Path In Life

Moving on can be one of the most difficult things to do, especially when it comes to friends and family members. The process can be particularly difficult because of the emotional connections, common interests and memories which you have established with someone. But everyone has a different path in life, so don’t be afraid to move on!

A classic example are your high school or college friends. During that time period of your life, you guys had a lot of things in common due to the lack of responsibility: life was not that hard and mommy and daddy were still supporting you financially. Your energy was devoted to having fun and making the most out of life.

But then you woke up when you realized that life was not that easy after all: you needed to get a job to become financially independent and pay the bills. But one thing was standing in the way: your friends. You realized that you had to pick a major and start studying, in order to end up with impressive grades for your graduate school application or future employment.

But your friends were still smoking weed, snorting oxycontin and partying on the weekends. One side of you still wanted to do those things with them, while the other side was repeating to you, “Come on now, it’s time to grow up and get your life together.” And that is exactly when you had to muster up all of your strength and move on in life.

There are times when you just have to let go of your old friends and move on. You will always recall the good memories and you can always run into them in the future and share a beer or two. But in the present moment, if they are not supportive of your goals and desires and still present themselves as a distraction in your life, you have to leave them behind.

There are so many people with great potential in life, but never actually reach their full potential because of who they surround themselves with. The people who you spend your time with have a great influence on you, unconsciously and consciously. If these people are not motivated to become successful, the chances that you will are just as slim.

You cannot be afraid to leave your friends behind and move on to find new friends who share your current goals and desires. This is a natural process of life. It doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. Your old friends will understand your decision; they might not like it, but deep inside, they know very well that you are looking out for your best interests.

The worst thing that you can do to yourself is to not reach your full potential, because you never had the courage to move on from your old friends. Everyone has a different path in life, so don’t worry about what’s going to happen to them. You have to worry about yourself, because nobody is going to deliver you success on a silver platter; it has to be earned via determination and hard work.

Don’t be afraid to move on.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)