When Being Nice Has Become Hard
Depending on multiple factors, such as where you were born and raised and where you are currently living, you most likely have a different experience with the act of being nice and courteous towards others. Your personality traits, upbringing, personal experiences and people in your neighborhood have shaped your perception on being nice to those around you.
Besides some exceptions such as conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, substance use or physical and sexual abuse, most children display innocent and nice behavior. But somewhere along the lines of adolescence, something changes: we become competitive, selfish and determined to fit in with our peers at the expense of being nice and courteous.
As we enter adulthood, we become more in touch with the real world and enter an ocean full of sharks, eels and stingrays waiting to chew us up and spit us out. What once felt normal and easy, has now become surprisingly hard to do: be nice, courteous, kind and forgiving to those around us!
This is because individuality is supposedly rare to come by; most people prefer to adopt a herd mentality. A herd mentality is when someone is influenced by his or her peers to adopt certain behaviors on a largely emotional, rather than rational, basis. To avoid social complications and dilemmas, most people join “the herd”, even at the expense of remaining nice towards others.
Selfishness has always been and always will be, but that does not mean that you have to partake if you feel otherwise. Utilize your free will and set your own path, even if it means being lonely for a very long time! Be the role model and shows others that respect, courtesy and dignity are more valuable than a selfish and mindless herd mentality.
Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)