Unexpected Encounter with Death
A painful loss
You know it’s coming
Like a breeze in the distance
The signs are obvious
The heart fails
Like he’s impaled
Bradycardia it entails
Rushed to the animal hospital
He’s 14 years of age
Put him down they say
It’s his end of days
But how can we?
He’s been my baby since I was 20
A Painful Loss – As Technology Steps In
A pacemaker it is
20k it costs
It’s only money
But it’ll help prevent an early loss
The doctors say it’s risky
He’s already old
There’s sound coming from the backroom
The veterinarian walks in
Bleek is moving and eating
His appetite is back
His life-force is intact . . .
The pacemaker is working
The medical team claps
He’s discharged back
But will he truly recover from this procedure?
He’s 14 or 104 years old in dog years
Nevertheless we hold back our tears
No one at home and all alone
He starts to eat and drink
Death missed its shot
Bleek is back on top . . .
Six Months Later
He’s doing great
Running in the park smiling
We can’t believe he’s striving
My little boy with white whiskers
Blind since a young age
When he wandered in our yard following a bigger dog
Left at our door as delivered by an angel
Every day remains a blessing
Death retreated in the distance
But not so fast . . .
Bleek suddenly stops eating . . .
He ate something unknown off the grass . . .
Oh no, please Bleek what’s wrong now?
He’s diagnosed with pancreatitis in March 2022
Not eating well, he starts slowing down
Death are you back striking at him again?
But his appetite slowly comes back
But it doesn’t last long
He’s eating out of my mom’s palm
Does he even want to be alive?
Bleek tell us, are you okay?
Staring Death In The Eyes
Saturday afternoon I still remember the day
Laying in my bed at 1pm chilling away
My mom FaceTimes me
Yay I get to see Bleek!
It’s not a happy call, truly bleak indeed
I see him standing on the grass barely holding himself upright
She’s afraid he won’t last much longer
Does we put him to sleep?
I realize death is here to keep
Sunday arrives and it’s Easter
Back on FaceTime and Bleek looks like he’s in a coma
I’m shocked staring at the screen
3 days before going back home . . .
Is he really going to die before then?
As my mother cries and holds him like a baby
His eyes glow and open up
He takes his final walk around the house
He’s not giving up . . .
But then lays down with a sideways collapse
Back on the couch to relax . . .
That night death settles in the air
His breathing becomes heavy
With sadness in the air . . .
My mother wakes up at 530am
Bleek still on the couch downstairs
In a pool of diarrhea and vomit . . .
Immediately she places him in the car
20 minutes into the drive . . .
He takes his last gasp of air
And gives up the ghost . . .
Three Days Later
As I drive on the PA turnpike back towards New York
Staring at the hills and mountains
75 mph I cry
Thinking that Bleek died 72 hours prior
Couldn’t he live a little longer
I just wanted to hold him a little stronger . . .
Let him die in my arms during my vacation
Why did life have to take him away
3 days before my vacation . . .
Maybe Bleek chose this fate
Dogs do understand what we say
Did he know I was coming home for a few days to stay?
Did he choose to give up the ghost
So I don’t see him in such a state of disbelief?
I arrive home and unpack in my bedroom
Immediately I cry in disbelief . . .
Bleek is not here to watch me unpack as he used to do . . .
But I feel his presence as if he left a goodbye
Perhaps before he died he left me a spiritual message
“I’ll always be by your side”. . .
A Painful Loss the Day After Easter
As I drove back home 4 days later, while on the PA turnpike heading back to New York, for a split second it sounded like I heard his cry. It was a similar cry as the one he would do when waiting downstairs for me to come down from the second floor. And today, 4/29/22, as I was chilling on my laptop, I thought I heard his cry again in the background . . . I thought to myself, “It can’t be. It must be a dog outside whining or something. But I thought to myself… would I really hear a similar dog’s cry from a fourth floor apartment?”
I have been praying to God to send messages to Bleek on my behalf because I truly believe that he is in heaven. I have also come across articles that state that animals’ souls have lower vibrational energy than human souls and that it’s harder for them to send us spiritual messages from the afterlife; angels and other spiritual guides often help them. Could it be that Bleek has tried contacting me twice in the form of a very distinct cry which I attribute to him? What message is he trying to send me?
I kinda knew since March that Bleek wasn’t going to live into 2023, but I never thought that his death was going to happen so soon; definitely not 3 days before my vacation back home. One of the most painful parts about this experience is him dying 3 days before going back home. I can’t comprehend the timing and why I couldn’t just hold him one last time… It truly was a painful loss.
All I wanted was one last time . . . But if Bleek is making contact with me from the afterlife, then I will keep praying for his wellbeing. I do believe animals have souls and God provides them with an amazing home after their life here on Earth, with us human companions.
What is your experience?
3 Replies to “A Painful Loss”
The family I work with lost thier dog recently the kids were devastated but they said Thier good byes. Pets are great companions but also like a great comfort always Thier. I have found going to work at Thier house the difference is quite remarkable because you expect her to come running in for a belly rub or food .♥️
Yes they almost redefine our lives and when they’re gone, you realize that they’re no longer there for all the habits and things that you used to do