Reeking Of Depression
Imagine feeling so depressed that you cannot even express any other emotion; your face looks blank and dysphoric. Your voice becomes monotone and slow as if stolen by an evil spirit. You appear disheveled as if you haven’t showered in over a week and perhaps you also carry a little body odor. Your thoughts are jumbled and you can’t think clearly because you are consumed by depression; the dominant thought in your mind tends to revolve around a way of how to commit suicide.
Imagine no way out of your misery; depression has chained you into a corner of your home and you can barely extend yourself to the bathroom to take care of yourself. Occasionally, depression will release you of its leash and allow you into the kitchen like a starving dog that is salivating for a T-bone. But you’re not salivating; in fact, you’re spilling tears on the way to the kitchen.
When you arrive to open the fridge you notice that there’s barely any food; you haven’t done groceries in over two weeks. There’s some milk, a few pieces of bread and some salami. You grab hold of the honey-flavored peanuts and munch down as the tears fall down your cheeks; you cannot believe that life has dragged you this low.
After ten minutes of swallowing down your dinner, you head back to your corner because depression has called your name once again. As you slowly make your way back, you see depression standing in the corner: it is about seven feet tall, has an evil smirk on its face and is holding a Rottweiler-sized leash that is ready for your neck. You innocently sit down as it shoves you into the corner and lets loose a loud evil laugh, “Mwahahaha. You’re mine forever!”
As you spend your days in the corner rotting away, you hear your cell phone in the other room ringing continuously; family and friends must be leaving voicemails left and right. You find an occasion in the afternoon to check your messages while depression is fast asleep: you notice frantic and worrying texts and voicemails from loved ones, but you don’t bother returning any calls. For a split second, the thought of drinking alcohol excites you and so you go grab the leftover bottle of liquor from over two months ago.
As you walk back into the living room with the bottle in your hand, you immediately notice depression standing on the other side with its hands on its waste. It then informs you, “I approve. I can use some too. Let’s get to work.” As you feel relieved that depression has approved your drinking, you start downing the bottle because it helps to take away the pain; at least in the moment.
Until one of three things happen: you die of alcohol poisoning in the corner by yourself, you end up in the hospital or you continue living through your misery with no end in sight. This is the life of many depressed patients.
Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)