Stop Dwelling On The Past
The past can either be your enemy or your lover. The latter is not as big of a problem, as your memories remind you of beautiful experiences. But when your past is your enemy, your memories enjoy tormenting you on your failures. And when you dwell on these negative memories over and over again, you start becoming emotionally and mentally affected in the present. That’s why you have to move on from your past mistakes.
Humans like to dwell on their past because they seek explanations for why things turned out the way they did. This especially is true with negative events of the past. But when someone has experienced something positive in their past, they might replay it in their mind for a few days and move on.
When someone has experienced something negative in their past, they might replay it in their mind even years later. They will attempt to reanalyze over and over again the same details of the event, hoping to come up with a satisfactory explanation for the negative outcome. But rarely is there a satisfactory explanation. How can there be one if the outcome was negative to begin with?
That’s why you have to learn how to move on from your past mistakes and redirect your energy on the present. You will not accomplish anything by revisiting past mistakes in your mind. If anything, they distract you from focusing on yourself in the present. Mistakes of the past cannot ever by changed.
It doesn’t matter why that girl ghosted you or why your coworker received the promotion. What’s done is done. But if you keep dwelling on the past, you will only continue to torment yourself. Many people even become depressed because they are so preoccupied with their past mistakes; they just can’t let their past go.
Why risk falling into a depressive episode just because you continue to dwell on the past? You’re much better off focusing on how to improve your life in the present, in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Focusing on the present will also help you to avoid new types of mistakes.
But you may argue, “Dr. Sinu! I can’t seem to move on from my past. I feel so sorry for the way that things turned out.” It’s normal to feel sorry for a few days or even a few weeks, but it’s not normal to keep feeling sorry months or even years later. It’s just not psychologically healthy.
With all that energy directed on your past, you can be using it to build new relationships and positive experiences in the present. One effective tool that you can start utilizing today to move on from your past is called mindfulness: the mental process of allowing any thought to drift in your mind without reacting to it.
Mindfulness helps you to focus on the present moment: just you in the now. Living in the now is much healthier than living in the past.
Do you get it now?
Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)