When All You Talk About Is Sex
Controlling your sexual urges is a problem for many people around the world. Whether they are single, in a relationship or married, they often experience difficulty being sexually satisfied, because all they can think about is sex. There is a difference between being casually horny and being so horny that you can’t go to a restaurant without wanting to bang the Asian waitress.
If you don’t learn how to control your sexual urges and desires from a young age, then they will control you until an old age. Your sexual urges are determined by your brain and personality, both influencing each other on many different levels. Your brain wants to release more dopamine in your reward center, telling you, “come on now, get me more sexual activity.”
And your personality is telling your brain, “I know, what do you think I’m trying to work on right now?” For people who have trouble controlling their sexual urges, it’s their personality that is more influenced by their brain. That’s because we all experience the release of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens, but we don’t all go running around displaying “verbal diarrhea” about wanting to bang this person or needing a “side chick.”
So once again, it comes down to your personality. You must be willing to change as a person in order to become less sexually motivated. Even if you do happen to be in a relationship where you are experiencing a lot of sex, you still have to be able to change something about yourself.
A lot of sex in a relationship can negatively impact the relationship if you go overboard with it. Some men are not even satisfied with the sex that they are getting out of their relationship, often searching for someone else on the side, resulting in an affair. And an affair leads to another failed marriage. As for women with uncontrollable sexual urges, they may go off having an affair as well.
One reason many people struggle with their sexual desires is because they unconsciously still want to have sex with certain types of people; people which they didn’t have a chance to have sex with when they were younger. For instance, a married white blonde girl may fantasize about having sex with a tall black man. Despite her white husband satisfying her, she still gets off more when she masturbates by herself to the thought of a black man.
Unfilled sexual desires that linger into adulthood from adolescence is definitely a strong contributing factor to uncontrollable sexual urges. But the reality is that you are not always presented with an opportunity to fulfill your sexual desires. So if that is not possible, then you need to make a change within yourself in order to avoid being so sexually motivated.
When all you talk about is sex, the image that you portray to others is not an impressive and admirable one. It shows them that you are too in touch with your ID; the animalistic side of your brain and personality. People don’t want human pets as friends. They want responsible and mature adults who can hold their own and not make a sexual comment every 5 minutes.
Control your sexual urges and fantasies, or they will control you.
Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)
DSM (Defeating Stigma Mindfully) 
Thanks for this
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Thanks for reading! Anything in particular that you enjoyed about it?
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I learnt a lot from this, what stood out to me the most is the unfulfilled sexual desires that linger to adulthood. Even with me for the longest time I had been chasing after unrealistic fantasies and I never learnt to cast them down. Another thing – controlling desires before they have control over you. I always let feelings dictate the course of my life and desire was what fueled me. So now it’s good to learn how to not let feelings and desire drive my life and mastering resisting.
Lastly was the last paragraph, you really spoke to me with that one – about not portraying the animalistic side to you because it is unimpressive. I used to feel like the scum of the earth because of portraying myself that way and I’m still learning and practicing everyday. So thank you for speaking about everything that I been going through❗
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Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I’m sure many of us around the world can relate. It’s people like you who help build this community based on honesty, suffering, storytelling and truth!
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No, its non-judgemental people like you that allow someone to share their struggles. You write about real issues that are worth knowing because as we grow, the world doesn’t teach us these things. Instead in my culture it is promoted and applauded for men to act on their animalistic nature
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The world doesn’t teach us a lot of things. We have to learn from each other and share our experiences! This is the spirit behind The DSM Movement.
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Exactly. The world encourages us to lust and keep us going in our dark cycles. That is why almost every channel and music video promotes. As we watch, thinking that its harmless and everyone does and it’s the normal thing to do, its actually feeding bad seeds within us if it’s not planting them. God says that we are in this world, not of it. So we must be careful what we feed our mind because our behavior is determined by what is in the mind. Even if we have bad thoughts, we shouldn’t focus on them because what we focus on becomes bigger. I’m grateful to have this interaction with you, I never had this kind conversation with anyone before and it’s kinda something I been hoping for.
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I’m glad that you’re having it. There is no way to get rid of bad thoughts. We just have to experience them by not reacting to them. Mindfulness is a tool that can help with it.
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I think this is a topic that needs to be brought up to kids in health class. Many kids don’t realize it is animalistic instinct that drives that need. Who knows it might help younger people to control their urges or at least direct them in a safe way.
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It’s actually directed to anyone. We all have inappropriate sexual urges.
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okay why not me..everyone has… but even if i want to get rid from it /// it always attacks me with doubble force..but i am trying hard to avoid it..i will do..be confident.. you all can do..if you dont want
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Yes Fazal… comes down to willpower and belief! You can do it! You are not alone
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thanks dear i am on my way many many thanks.. do you tell some steps to escape from it? or any clinical setup like
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Find the strength within you. You can also try seeking a therapist and doing some Cognitive behavioral therapy: changing the way you think so that your behavior also changes and vice versa
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CBT ..can i try it self.. i dont have availability of doctor?
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No. Recommend seeing someone who is trained in it. You can try mindfulness by yourself.
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ok for sure thankyou
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