Questioning Your Sexuality

When Your Mind Plays Tricks On You

Most people who are homosexual state that they knew from a young age of their sexual preference; a young age meaning childhood or early adolescence. Some people also claim that their failed heterosexual relationships, have caused them to identify more strongly with the same sex. Whatever the reason, many people can attest to the fact that at some point in their lives, they have questioned their sexual orientation.

Questioning your sexuality can happen for many reasons. One reason is simple curiosity: “how would it feel to experience a sexual encounter with the same sex?” There are many people who end up experiencing a homosexual experience, even though they don’t identify as homosexuals.

This can occur in people who are hyper-sexual to begin with. It may be sparked by a bad heterosexual experience, a lack of a recent heterosexual experience or simple curiosity for the same sex. These people don’t usually turn to homosexuality from there on; it’s called sexual experimentation.

Then there are people who have had too many negative sexual encounters with people of the opposite sex; this can occur with women and men. Out of frustration and desperation, they turn to the same sex as a source of potential comfort and emotional healing. If it turns out to be a positive experience, some of them remain homosexual or begin to identify as bisexual.

There are also people who had or currently suffer from OCD and experience a train of persistent homosexual thoughts. These people are not homosexual, but their illness keeps repeating the same thoughts over and over, making them question their sexual orientation. The solution is to just allow the thoughts to be, knowing within that they are heterosexuals.

As you can see, sexual orientation is influenced by the environment and mental illness. While genetics may be at play, it is not fully known whether homosexuals have inherited genes or not. What is for sure from many people who are homosexual, is that they had these feelings towards the same sex from a young age.

At the end of the day, just be yourself.

Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

12 Replies to “Questioning Your Sexuality”

  1. The new study actually found that genetics could explain 8–25% of the variation in sexual behavior. Also, that there are various genes that influence sexual behavior. The results actually show the complexity of human sexuality. We see various sexuality’s when we look at many species in the animal kingdom not just our own. To say that there is no biological component would be incorrect. The truth is, there are many limits to studies and just not big enough sample sizes.

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  2. My son is homosexual and I can say with complete certainty that he has not consciously chosen that. He’s expressed great distress about the stigma that comes along with it. Unfortunately, it’s one of the issues that has turned him to drug use (which is much more concerning than his sexual preference). I can’t help but believe that there has to be some genetic component to it. His sexuality has no bearing on the love his father and I have for him. I wish it didn’t affect his love for himself.

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    1. I agree. Love should be independent of sexual orientation. I’m sorry to hear about his drug use and distress. Has he tried seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? One of my best friends had the same issue when younger and improved by slowly coming out and sharing it with people.

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      1. Yes, he’s seen therapists and psychiatrists. He’s been admitted in mental health treatment facilities. He spent 4 months in a dual diagnosis facility. At this point though, his drug use has become the biggest issue in his life. He has talked to me about his sexuality but, as many times as his Dad has told him it’s not a problem and he loves him unconditionally, Matt still will not actually say the words out loud to his Dad. When his Dad asked him if his roommate was actually a boyfriend, Matt denied it. His boyfriend told my daughter that Matt just doesn’t want people to know about their relationship. It is my belief that he turned to drugs as a way to feel better about what he sees as an unacceptable part of himself.

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      2. I agree. The drugs helped him alleviate his denial at first, which has now turned into an addiction. Continued support and time for him to mature will hopefully help. Sorry to hear about your suffering.

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      1. Ok, I have my own set of values. I don’t have sex with men, but I have no issues with the concept and the option is appealing. I like women. But I am also a sensual, sexual being. The lines are blurred, I don’t try to fit into any conventional way of being. I get as much from the sensual experience, even the daily routine. Wearing something that makes me feel sexy, or seeing a sexy person looking good makes me gasp a little. It doesn’t have to be about intercourse. 🙂

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