Saying Goodbye Hurts
Nobody likes saying goodbye to a close friend or relative; it brings upon feelings of detachment and sadness. But all good things must come to an end, at least momentarily. Rather than going through the same cycle of pain after every goodbye, you have to learn how to effectively give goodbyes and protect yourself in the process.
If you find yourself experiencing pain and detachment upon saying goodbye, then that means that you had a great time! This is the goal with every meaningful interaction. So why do we punish ourselves afterwards by feeling gloomy? The reason is because our mind has found comfort in the interaction and does not want to lose its grip on it.
Humans are very social creatures. When we become comfortable with other people, we have a tendency to want to hold on to an interaction for as long as possible. Positive relationships bring us comfort, safety and a sense of wellbeing. With the world being so competitive and cruel at times, being around people who are nice to us is like a breath of fresh air.
But rather than going through an intense session of missing someone after their departure, you have to learn how to control your emotions in a healthy way. Ignoring your feelings is not the right way and intensely missing their presence for 24-48 hours afterwards is not effective either.
It is best if you come to acceptance with their departure right before a goodbye happens. If you know that they will be leaving from your life in a day or two, mentally prepare yourself for the goodbye. Remind yourself how good of a time it has been and that everything happens for a reason; have faith in the process.
Having faith is an important step in the process of saying goodbye to someone. When you have faith, you become more confident of the outcomes and you better understand why a certain situation is unfolding the way that it is. But when you don’t have faith in the process, you become more vulnerable to experiencing lingering emotions which can impact your mental well-being.
Life has a way of bringing people back together who once shared a loving relationship. Whether that is a family member, a close friend or a significant other, it doesn’t matter; trust the process. Don’t torment yourself because life has pulled them aside for a while. Say your goodbyes, treasure the memories with all your heart and mind and go back to living a healthy and positive life.
This is how you get good at saying goodbye.
Are you Ready? (This is Defeating Stigma Mindfully)